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The company’s pronouncements, and the anticipated guidance for 2026, have momentarily stayed the hand of doubt. A 20.5% gain as of this hour is a reprieve, certainly. But what is a reprieve in the face of the abyss? It is a breath held, a moment’s pause before the inevitable plunge. The figures whisper of 62,000 to 67,000 EVs delivered this year – a 50% improvement over the previous year’s 42,247. A laudable ambition, to be sure, but ambition, like faith, is a fragile thing.

Units of Coffee Consumed While Watching Charts: 7. Hours Spent Questioning Life Choices: 6. Number of Times I’ve Considered Becoming a Beekeeper: 3.

The solution, naturally, is another Exchange Traded Fund. Because that’s always the answer. Invesco’s S&P 500 Equal Weight ETF (RSP +0.62%) tries to spread the wealth. Gives every stock a roughly equal slice of the pie. It’s $86.3 billion worth of pretending things are fairer than they are. Turns 23 in April. A whole lifetime in the stock market. So it goes.

The reason? Cathie Wood, of course. Ark Invest has been buying shares like they’re going out of style. I imagine her team huddled around a monitor, whispering, “More Bullish! Yes! Before Brenda from accounting gets wind of it.” It’s always Brenda. She has a knack for timing these things.

The pitch was simple: air taxis. Beat the gridlock. A smooth ride for the well-heeled. But the market? They talked about trillions. Trillions are easy to talk about. Actually getting to them? That’s where the trouble started. It smelled like a story, and stories, in my line of work, usually had a twist.

This week alone, another 15.4% gone. According to those people at S&P Global Market Intelligence, which, frankly, always feels a little… presumptuous. Like they know something I don’t. And usually, they don’t.

Broadcom (AVGO 3.38%). Now, this is a company that understands the plumbing. The raw, brutal necessity of getting data from point A to point B before the whole system melts down. They’re building the freeways for the digital hordes, and frankly, the demand is INSANE. Data centers are sprouting like poisonous mushrooms, and Broadcom is supplying the concrete. But it’s the ASICs – those custom-built chips – that are the real juice. They’re quietly becoming the kingmakers.

A traditional REIT, you see, deals in bricks and mortar – actual buildings, leased to actual tenants. Understandable. Reliable. Like a dwarf crafting a particularly sturdy table. AGNC, however, operates in the somewhat more ethereal realm of mortgage-backed securities. It doesn’t own the houses; it owns the promises of houses. It buys and sells these bundles of mortgages, which is less like being a landlord and more like being a very sophisticated (and slightly unsettling) pawnbroker. It’s a business built on other people’s debts, and that, my friends, is always interesting.²

Looking back over the past three years, this particular company hasn’t managed to generate a truly stirring movement in its share price following an earnings announcement. A 4.3% uptick last May was the most dramatic event, and even that was hardly a spectacle. Modest earnings, predictable guidance – terribly reliable, really. One almost feels obligated to applaud the sheer lack of surprise.

Now, Datadog, bless their silicon hearts, are jumping on the AI bandwagon. Not driving, mind you, more like hanging onto the back with a determined grin. They’re helping companies deploy this artificial intelligence stuff without it all crashing and burning. And guess what? People are actually paying for this! They launched a few products, and demand is… let’s just say it’s not exactly languishing. The latest earnings report? Revenue growth accelerated! I haven’t seen acceleration like that since I tried to escape a tax audit.