Michael Saylor’s Bitcoin Shenanigans: 2,486 BTC Buy and Counting!

As reported in a proclamation that echoed through the digital corridors of X, Strategy (Nasdaq: MSTR) has been on a bitcoin shopping spree. “We’ve acquired 2,486 BTC for the paltry sum of $168.4 million at a mere $67,710 per bitcoin,” Saylor chirped, bright and early, just after the sun had barely thought about rising. Just think! A mere fraction of a fortune, and yet, their total hoard now stands at a staggering $54.52 billion, all for the audacious price of $76,027 per bitcoin. Why not throw in a few more zeros while we’re at it?

Viking Therapeutics: A Speculative Venture

The company’s principal hope rests upon a candidate, VK2735, currently undergoing trials. It is a compound designed, like others, to influence the delicate balance of appetite and metabolism. A trial in injectable form progresses, and plans are laid for an oral version, a convenience which, it is presumed, will prove appealing to those of a less resolute disposition. Whether such convenience will translate into lasting success remains, of course, to be seen.

A Question of Fintech: PayPal and SoFi

Yet, despite the evident difficulties attending PayPal, its present valuation suggests a degree of undervaluation, whilst SoFi appears to be held in rather higher esteem by the market. The question, therefore, arises: upon which of these establishments should a prudent investor bestow their favour?

Shiny Rocks & Digital Ledgers: A $3k Predicament

We’re weighing Bitcoin (BTC 1.17%), the digital gold standard, if you’ll forgive the oxymoron, against Cardano (ADA 0.67%), a blockchain that currently resembles a beautifully crafted, empty cathedral. Both claim to be the future, naturally. Everyone always does. It’s the marketing, you see. And the sheer, unshakeable optimism of those who believe they can solve everything with a distributed ledger.1

D-Wave: A Quantum Folly?

The company prepares to unveil its fourth-quarter and full-year 2025 earnings on the twenty-sixth of February, before the sun deigns to rise. A popular pastime, this “earnings play,” especially with a stock prone to fits and tremors. Yet, I advise caution. To expect a miracle from D-Wave is akin to expecting a rational argument from a babushka arguing over a cabbage.

Emerging Markets: A Fool’s Paradise or Prudent Investing?

There’s a passel of these “exchange-traded funds” – fancy names for baskets of stocks – all claimin’ to be the best way to dip your toes into these faraway lands. But pickin’ the right one? That’s like tryin’ to choose the fastest mule in a stampede. One that stands out, though, is the Vanguard FTSE Emerging Markets ETF (VWO 0.02%). It’s got a bit of everything, spread around, and charges a fee so low, it’s practically givin’ the money away. Which, in my experience, is usually a sign of somethin’ clever or somethin’ about to go sideways.

Bitcoin Stumbles Like a Tipsy Penguin-But the HODLers Just Laughed It Off

With short-term signals squabbling like cats in a hat, the spotlight now gleams upon the long-term holders-those cheeky, cashew-crunching gnomes who’ve mastered the art of turning tides. Their antics, you see, have a habit of rewriting Bitcoin’s storybook. And right now, they’re scribbling in the margins with a grin.

Nvidia: A Spot of Bother and a Dash of Genius

This, naturally, gives one pause. Where will Nvidia be a year hence? A perfectly legitimate question, and one that requires a bit of jolly good thinking. The whole business, you see, hinges on this artificial intelligence business. It’s the latest craze, and everyone’s throwing money at it with the enthusiasm of a schoolboy let loose in a sweetshop.

Duolingo: A Gilded Cage?

The company, having successfully monetized a vaguely guilty conscience, now faces the more subtle challenges of maintaining its position. Investors, accustomed to breathless pronouncements of ‘user growth’ and ‘margin expansion’ – terms which, frankly, suggest a limited understanding of human nature – should direct their attention to the structural deficiencies which threaten to undermine this carefully constructed edifice.