With mirth and merriment, these “Pioneers” may now bestow their Pi upon hapless online retailers or flail it at local stalls, all while basking in reductions grander than the reductions in a Parisian tailor’s shop. Bravo, to this modern renaissance of folly!
FXStreet reckons 2026 is more of a wobbly waltz than a clean break. 🕺
According to the parchment filed with the Watchful Eye of Ankh-Morpork2, our protagonists increased their AESI holdings during the quarter ending September 30, 2025. The position now glows with a valuation of $8,253,631, which the fund’s scribes describe as “normal trading activity.” This phrase, much like “weather patterns are interesting,” typically means “we’re either geniuses or doomed, but let’s see what the quants say.”
This new position, now 2.2462% of Resolution’s 13F reportable assets, is less a strategy than a submission. The top five holdings-WELL, DLR, EQIX, VTR, EXR-loom like statues in a corridor, their percentages etched in cold numbers. As of November 13, 2025, HR shares traded at $18.08, a 9.91% ascent over a year, yet still lagging the S&P 500 by 2.48 percentage points. The figures are precise, yet they offer no clarity, only the weight of inevitability.
With a face as stern as a judge and a voice that cuts through the noise like a razor, Brandt scrutinizes the canvas of candlesticks and lines, uncovering a pattern-a double top-that whispers the melancholy tune of impending decline. This pattern, he warns, might just be a mirage, a false prophet in the desert of price action, but one must face it as one would face an unwelcome mirror reflecting our own despair. The man’s words echo-“Love it or not, deal with it,”-a declaration of brutal honesty that mockingly invites the optimistic to swallow their rose-colored glasses. 🎭
The stock, having pirouetted downward with a 65% loss over the past decade, now faces a breakup as imaginative as a vicar’s excuse for missing Sunday service. Management proposes dividing the firm into North American Grocery Co (custodian of Oscar Mayer’s wares) and Global Taste Elevation Co (keeper of Heinz’s ketchup kingdom). Mr. Buffett, ever the candid chap, has dismissed this maneuver as “about as useful as a screen door on a submarine,” which one must admit cuts sharper than a Ginsu knife.
In this landscape of shifting fortunes, it was the names tied to artificial intelligence and the broader tech tapestry that bore the weight of today’s gains. The strength of Oracle (ORCL +6.63%) and Micron Technology (MU +6.89%) lifted spirits, even as consumer stocks faltered beneath the weight of underwhelming earnings. Nike (NKE -10.54%) and Lamb Weston (LW -25.94%), once paraded as champions of retail, stumbled due to disappointing forecasts, casting a shadow over the shelves of retail and staples alike.
RLUSD’s ascent to such lofty financial heights was no accident of fortune but rather the result of meticulous planning. Ripple, ever the paragon of foresight, designed this stablecoin with the utmost consideration for U.S. regulatory frameworks, securing both state-level licenses and federal oversight via the OCC’s conditional approval. Such dual-layer compliance, one might argue, is the very epitome of financial propriety, granting institutions the clarity they crave and paving the way for swift adoption. 🏛️
According to financial documents, Serenity has now amassed 5 million shares of Kanzhun, which, in their twisted little world, is valued at $117.6 million. This represents nearly 30% of Serenity’s total assets under management, a number that hovers around $394 million. An impressive feat, if one is a fan of high-risk wagers.
The SEC filing from November 13 reveals Serenity Capital’s latest crime: inflating their HTHT stake by 710,431 shares. Their total holding now sits at $49.8 million, which is 12.6% of the fund’s AUM. This isn’t just a purchase-it’s a declaration of war against the universe’s indifference to their portfolio’s order. The fund’s top holdings now read like a spreadsheet written by someone who refuses to alphabetize their groceries: BZ ($117.6M), ZTO ($97.1M), TAL ($53M), HTHT ($49.8M), and EDU ($34.9M). Neat, but why EDU? Did they misread a memo?
