Okay, so Circle Internet Group (CRCL +35.16%). Thirty-five percent! It closed at $83.14. You know what that means? Everyone’s suddenly an expert. Everyone. They’re talking about Q4, EPS, revenue. Like they actually understand what’s going on. It’s just numbers, people! Numbers! And frankly, it’s unsettling. The volume, 61.4 million shares? Forty-seven percent above the average? What is everyone doing? Panicking? Getting rich? It’s just… excessive. They IPO’d in 2025, up 168% since. That’s a lot of percentage. I’m starting to suspect a conspiracy.
How the Markets Moved Today
The S&P 500 rose 0.82% to 6,947. Fine. The Nasdaq Composite gained 1.26%. Also fine. But the real story, the real story, is Coinbase Global (up 13.52%). Everyone’s jumping on the crypto bandwagon, and I’m supposed to be okay with that? I just want a simple, predictable dividend yield. Is that too much to ask? It’s like they’re rewarding speculation. And then they wonder why everything is so chaotic. Coinbase, Circle…it’s all connected. A whole system designed to make me feel vaguely anxious.
What This Means For Investors
Impressive earnings, they say. Revenue up 77%, EBITDA up 412%. What does that mean? It means they’re using bigger numbers! It’s a distraction. The USDC coin, the second-largest stablecoin…72% circulation growth. Okay, fine. But here’s what I don’t get: “on-platform USDC rose nearly sixfold.” What does “on-platform” even mean? Is it a special USDC? Do they keep it in a separate vault? It’s just…unclear. And the margins are higher? Of course, the margins are higher. They’re holding your money! That’s how it works. They’re making a killing, and they’re acting like they’re doing us a favor. It’s insulting.
And the Euro Coin (EURC) circulation quadrupled. More currencies! More complications! And now they’re enrolling financial institutions. 29 to 55. It’s expanding. It’s growing. It’s becoming…a monster. A $20 billion market cap. High-risk, high-reward. That’s what they call it. I call it a headache. Look, I’m not saying it’s a bad investment. I’m just saying, why does everything have to be so… unnecessarily complicated? Give me a solid dividend, a little predictability, and let me enjoy my retirement in peace. Is that too much to ask? Seriously?
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2026-02-26 01:23