Solana: To the Moon… or the Basement? 📉

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It seems our dear Solana briefly flirted with $130 on a Sunday, a fleeting moment of optimism. A veritable carnival of exuberance! But, naturally, Monday arrived like a hangover, dragging the price down 6.1% to the dismal $122 neighborhood. It’s been bouncing around like a caffeinated flea between $120 and $126, desperately seeking approval from the market. A pathetic sight, really.

589 LED Bulbs in Times Square Trigger XRP Mania 😱 (Spoiler: It’s Just Math)

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Look, behind-the-scenes footage confirmed that the four massive numerals towering over One Times Square-the same spot where we pretend it’s exciting to watch a ball drop-contain precisely 589 energy-efficient LED bulbs. 🌟 Not 590. Not 588. 589. Which, statistically, is about as meaningful as the number of Cheetos in a “sharing size” bag. But hey, facts are fun until someone in crypto misinterprets them!

Fed’s Wavering Hand, Market’s Delusion: 2026 Looms

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And now, as this bull, fat and slow from three years of easy gains, lumbers into 2026, the ground beneath it trembles. The Federal Reserve, that temple of cloaked men adjusting dials for the powerful, whispers uncertainty. Not in parables, but in dissenting votes and contradictory projections-raw data that even the blind can read. The S&P, still dancing, does not care. Or pretends not to.

Wallet Hacked Over Christmas?! 😱

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It appears Trust Wallet stumbled into a rather unfortunate situation around Christmas Day. Seems a bad browser extension update decided to gatecrash the party, specifically targeting desktop users. Naturally, this resulted in thousands of users reporting losses and requesting a refund; a bit like finding out Santa replaced your presents with IOUs. 🤔

Market Wobbles on New Year’s Eve Eve

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Big Tech’s robot overlords took a coffee break. Nvidia (NVDA 1.19%) and Palantir (PLTR 2.40%) stumbled as investors whispered, “What have you done for me lately?” Gold miners like Newmont (NEM 5.64%) plunged 5%-the precious metal’s midlife crisis continues. So it goes.

Fund’s $99M Varonis Stake: A Market Enigma

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The post-transaction holding, a figure of 1.73 million shares valued at $99.14 million, appears to the untrained eye as a triumph of calculation. Yet within the firm’s internal mechanisms, this number is but a fragment of a larger, unknowable equation. The firm, which claims $1.27 billion in total U.S. equity positions across 16 holdings, seems to operate under laws no human could ever fully grasp, its decisions dictated by an unseen algorithmic will.

Why a Fund Bet Big on FCPT Despite 15% Drop

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On November 13, Callodine filed paperwork with the SEC revealing they bought 765,275 shares of FCPT. That’s a pretty hefty stake-$18.67 million, to be exact. It’s their first time holding FCPT in their quarterly report, which feels like a secret handshake with a company that’s been quietly doing its thing. I wonder if they’re betting on a comeback or just hedging their bets with a predictable cash flow.