XRP clings to its perch near $2.50, as the crypto market, ever the drama queen, dusts itself off after a week of tantrums. According to the oracles at crypto.news, the fifth-largest crypto darling now trades at $2.47, up 5.3% in the past 24 hours. A modest victory, but one that raises eyebrows and hopes alike. 🧐
If Nvidia were a character in a Dickens novel, it would be Ebenezer Scrooge-except instead of hoarding gold, it’s gobbling up market share. Last fiscal year, sales jumped 114% to $130.5 billion, a figure so staggering it could make even Warren Buffett raise an eyebrow. And the momentum shows no sign of slowing: First-half revenue for 2026 already sits at $90.8 billion, up from $56.1 billion the year before. Operating income? A gaudy $50.1 billion, up over 40%. It’s like watching a steamroller roll over a bag of cash.
Let’s start with a couple of ETFs on the equity side of things that should be your bread and butter: the Schwab U.S. Dividend Equity ETF (SCHD) and the Vanguard Dividend Appreciation ETF (VIG). And for a dash of stability, we’ll sprinkle in a trusty bond ETF – the Vanguard Intermediate-Term Bond ETF (BIV). They’re all different flavors of income generation, and together, they form a portfolio that’s not only diverse but also remarkably resilient.
On Nov. 6, the curtain lifts for Q3 2025 earnings-a report that could either validate this speculative fever or send shareholders scrambling. Let’s dissect this peculiar beast with the caution of someone poking a beehive with a stick.
On this fateful Oct. 20, the market dances to a tune only the crypto gurus claim to hear. “Buy the dip!” they cry, while the rest of us clutch our wallets like a sailor clings to a life preserver. 🚤💰 Yet here we are, all coins smiling their polygonal grins, as if the collapse of 2022 were but a bad dream. A dream, perhaps, that forgot to include you. 😂
SoFi’s financials gleam, yes-revenue surging, customers multiplying like dandelions in a breeze. Yet the market, that fickle observer, has begun to paint the company in hues of optimism, as though it were a fresco newly unveiled. But what is optimism but the sunlit face of uncertainty?
Two titans currently reign over this realm of subcutaneous salvation: their syringes glisten like Excalibur in the pharmaceutical armory. Yet lo! A third act approaches, wherein oral formulations-those convenient little sacraments of compliance-threaten to upend the order of things. Let us now wander this gallery of grotesque ambition, where vanity battles biology with prescriptions as weapons.
Right now, Bitcoin’s hanging about over the $100,000 mark-quite the feat, considering it’s had more crashes than an overcrowded dance floor at a June garden fete. Down over 10% from its £126,000 peak in early October, it’s still got enough bravado to make a hacker blush.
Four noble (or rather, delusional) stocks-IonQ, Rigetti Computing, D-Wave Quantum, and Quantum Computing, Inc.-have ascended with such velocity that one might mistake them for comets. Their trailing-12-month gains? A 570%, 6,590%, 4,340%, and 2,830% respectively. A veritable danse macabre of exuberance!
The equity performance of Nvidia (NVDA) and Palantir Technologies (PLTR) exemplifies both the opportunities and risks inherent in AI-driven growth. Since 2022, Nvidia’s shares have appreciated 1,100%, while Palantir’s have surged 2,700%. However, these gains coincide with significant insider selling activity that warrants scrutiny.