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This entity, known as Alphabet (a name that suggests a collection of interesting things, rather than a monolithic corporation), boasts a market capitalization of approximately $4 trillion. (Which is a lot of money. Enough to buy a small planet. Or a really nice yacht. Possibly both, if you’re careful with the depreciation.) The suggestion is that investing a mere $1,000 in this behemoth is a sensible course of action. Let us examine why. (Or, more accurately, why someone is suggesting you examine why.)

The S&P 500 (SNPINDEX: ^GSPC) drifted down 0.17% to 6,966. The Nasdaq Composite (NASDAQINDEX: ^IXIC) fell a bit further, 0.72% to 23,685. Numbers. They mean something to someone, I suppose. Verizon (VZ +1.01%) managed a small gain, closing at $39.81. T-Mobile (TMUS +1.63%) did slightly better, finishing at $189.28. They’re all just selling us connections, one way or another. Assessing competitive positioning, they call it. Network issues. Always network issues. Like trying to hold water in a sieve.

Units of CoreWeave shares purchased: 1. Hours spent refreshing the stock ticker: countless. Number of times I’ve considered just investing in actual servers and setting up my own AI factory in the garden shed: 3. (The garden shed is, admittedly, quite small.)

It is, of course, a truth universally acknowledged that a company in possession of a promising technology must be in want of capital. Joby, having embarked on its public journey in 2020, has experienced a modest 6% increase since then – a rate of ascent that, while not entirely ignominious, is hardly the stuff of legends. One suspects that the market is beginning to discern the difference between aspiration and achievement.

The filing, a sterile document of legal obligation, reveals the extent of this wager. A 3.1% allocation of Ashton Thomas’s managed assets. Not a reckless plunge, but a measured breath held beneath the surface. It is the weight of these numbers, not their absolute value, that intrigues. They speak of a conviction born not of exuberance, but of a quiet, almost melancholic, assessment of value.

They speak of IPOs, of 2018, and a 28% decline since. A quarter of a century evaporated. It’s a familiar story, isn’t it? Dreams built on promises, eroded by the relentless grind of the market. The machine demands constant feeding, and these companies are merely fuel.

It appears the American public is developing a distinct lack of enthusiasm for cigarettes. Domestic shipment volumes declined by nearly 8% in the last quarter. One can hardly blame them, really. It’s a frightfully unhealthy habit. But unhealthy habits, unfortunately, are often the most profitable.

According to a filing with the SEC – that’s the Securities and Exchange Commission, the folks who make sure Wall Street doesn’t turn into a complete madhouse – Deltec sold 146,667 shares of NCLH in the fourth quarter. That’s a lot of shuffleboard tokens, let me tell you. Their stake is now… diminished. They still have some, about $7.67 million worth, but they clearly decided to trim the sails, so to speak. It’s like realizing your toupee is crooked mid-performance – a quick, decisive adjustment.