This whole blockchain thing isn’t exactly new. Banks and exchanges have been toying with it for years, like playing around with a new toy that just won’t work. But LSEG, being the brave soul it is, was like, “Let’s put some real money into this and make it happen.” And boom-real transactions. How exciting.
Last week, whispers of an ETF-a financial instrument as old as the hills-spun new life into this meme-born token. The promise of institutional embrace, however fleeting, spurred a frenzy of speculation. Yet now, as the REX-Osprey Dogecoin ETF draws near to its Sept. 17 debut, the token retreats, as if exhaling after a breathless sprint. Ah, the eternal rhythm of “buy the rumor, sell the news”-a romantic interlude where investors, like lovers, part ways with their gains, leaving the coin to linger in the twilight of its own success.
Last week, this here coin was prancing like a colt on a sugar rush, buoyed by whispers of rate cuts and the soft, warm glow of hope. But lo! The market’s been handed a double-edged razor-sharpened on one side by the promise of easier money, the other by the folly of 96.5 million fresh DOGEs flooding in, worth near $27 million. It’s a deluge, friend, and the levees of optimism ain’t built to hold it.
Behold, the key unlocks of this tragicomic farce! Optimism (OP) leads the charge with $91.49 million, a sum that would make a tsar weep. Fasttoken (FTN) follows, clutching its $89.8 million like a miser clutching his last kopek. LayerZero (ZRO) adds $51.16 million, while Velodrome Finance (VELO) and Arbitrum (ARB) unleash $49.32 million and $47.8 million, respectively. A veritable feast of folly, where each player vies for their moment in the spotlight, only to be swallowed by the void of the market’s indifference. 🎭
On a gloomy Monday, beneath the towering marble walls of justice, they asked, ever so politely, if the quills of litigation might be set aside, “subject to review and approval,” don’t forget those mouthfuls, by the mighty commission. All fighting paused… indefinitely. Because why rush when the spectacle is so much fun?
In the stillness before the market’s hum, an analyst from Leerink Partners, Mani Foroohar, gave his blessing to Scholar Rock, assigning it a rating of “outperform”-a subtle yet potent invitation to embrace the stock with eager arms. His target price: $51 per share, a number with a promise nearly 51% greater than Scholar Rock’s last closing price. For a company just beginning to cast its shadow, such growth seems almost inevitable. What is a stock’s rise but the shadow of a company’s soul reaching across the landscape, stirring the winds of fortune?
Arete Research, a smaller but respected equity research firm that has been covering technology, media, and telecommunications since 2000, has been tracking ASML since 2018. For the first time in seven years, Arete has upgraded the company’s stock from “hold” to “buy,” placing a price target of 879 euros. This comes as ASML currently trades near that target in U.S. dollars but is priced at 729.40 euros as of this writing. The research firm points to the anticipated surge in spending by Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing (TSMC), which, according to Arete’s estimations, will pour $50 billion into capital expenditures in both 2026 and 2027, up from a revised $38 to $42 billion this year.
In a Monday X post (yes, X, because Twitter was too mainstream), the Fellowship PAC announced its grand entrance with “over $100 million” from sources as mysterious as my uncle’s secret meatloaf recipe. 🥩 Their mission? To support the Trump administration’s digital asset strategy, because who doesn’t love a good crypto-political romance? 💑🇺🇸
Well, I’ll be jiggered! $244 million worth of ETH has scarpered from exchanges in 48 hours, faster than a bounder from a dull party. Whales and traders are hoarding it like it’s the last crumpet at tea time, betting on a spot of long-term upside. 🧐💰
Anchorage Digital Bank NA, the fanciest federally chartered digital asset bank this side of the blockchain, will be the brains behind USAT’s issuance, reserve management, and compliance. 🧠✨ According to a press release shared with TopMob, this partnership is like peanut butter and jelly-except it’s crypto rails and bank oversight. 🥜🍇
