Coinbase’s Privacy Ploy: A Joke or a Revelation?

In a recent missive, Mr. Armstrong cited the musings of an anonymous X user, lamenting the lack of privacy in stablecoin transactions. He then proceeded to inform his followers that his team is diligently engaged in the noble pursuit of private transactions, following their acquisition of the Iron Fish team earlier this year. “Base is building private transactions,” he wrote, “We acquired the Iron Fish team back in Mar 2025 to start working on this. More to share soon,” as if the matter were as simple as brewing a pot of tea. 🍵

Bitcoin’s Fearful Streak: Will It End in a Crash? 🚨

The Fear and Greed Index has been stuck on “fear” for seven consecutive days, a state that – coupled with a bitcoin price constrained between $103,000 and $115,000 for almost two weeks – may indicate a period of prolonged crypto market anxiety. Sigh. How thrilling. 🤡

Bitcoin Wallets: Secure, Private, and Possibly a Bit Tricky 😅

Crypto adoption is accelerating fast as Q4 gains momentum – driven by rising prices, growing regulation, and better tools for self-custody. More users than ever are moving off exchanges and into wallets they control, but today’s wallets look very different from those of previous cycles. It’s like watching a dusty old barn transform into a sleek spaceship. 🚀

Fed Opens Cryptic Door: Is the US About to Swallow Its Wallet?

Imagine, if you will, the scene: a grand institution-timid yet authoritative-lifting the veil for these modern-day gold rushers, daring them to dream of direct access. Some say the Fed might be inadvertently preparing to dismantle the very foundation of commercial banking in the land. Arthur Hayes, ever the provocateur, claimed this move was a sort of revenge-Trump’s finger print perhaps-retaliation for the debanking of a certain familial figure. A mischievous smirk might even appear on the statue of Uncle Sam, if statues could smirk.

🇷🇺💔💰 Crypto Divorce Drama: Russia Says “We Want Half!”

Igor Antropenko, a chap from the State Duma’s Industry and Trade Committee (representing the ruling United Russia party, of course), has decided it’s high time to update the Family Code. 📜✨ The draft law, now sitting on Prime Minister Mikhail Mishustin’s desk like a ticking time bomb, has also been shared with the Central Bank of Russia (CBR) for a good old-fashioned review. 🕵️‍♂️