Look, I’ve been doing this a long time. A long time. And you know what I’ve learned? Everyone’s chasing “growth.” It’s exhausting. Like, is anyone just looking for a company that doesn’t lose money? Apparently not. But fine, if we’re going to talk about “growth,” let’s at least acknowledge how ridiculous the whole premise is. These companies… they promise you the moon. And you fall for it. Every. Single. Time.
So, here are two. Two companies people are getting excited about. Data centers and… Reddit. Honestly. I’ve seen it all now.
1. Applied Digital
This Applied Digital… they build data centers. Okay. Fine. Everyone needs a place to store their… whatever it is they store. But they’re making a big deal out of it. “Monster run”? Please. It’s a stock. It goes up, it goes down. It’s not a mythical creature. And this CoreWeave deal… eleven billion dollars? That’s a lot of duct tape and servers. I’m not saying it’s bad, I’m just saying… let’s not pretend it’s some revolutionary breakthrough. It’s building boxes. Expensive boxes.
And the second hyperscaler deal? Another five billion? What, are they just giving money away? I need to get into this business. But seriously, these long-term projections… sixteen billion in lease revenue? That’s based on… what? Hope? And North Dakota? “Cool climate”? So they’re saving a few bucks on air conditioning and everyone’s supposed to be impressed? It’s… practical. Not impressive. There’s a difference.
They’re bragging about a 250% revenue surge? Okay, from what? A rounding error? And they’re targeting a billion in profit in five years? That’s… ambitious. Especially considering their market cap is only nine-and-a-half billion. It’s like saying you’re going to run a marathon after sitting on the couch for ten years. Possible, maybe, but don’t expect a medal.
2. Reddit
Reddit. Oh, Reddit. The internet’s front porch. Where people go to argue about… everything. And the stock is up 300%? What are they selling? Misery? I mean, seriously. Daily active users up 19%? That just means more people are complaining online. It’s not a victory.
And the stock is down 54% from its highs? Well, good. Maybe people are finally waking up. The analysts are worried about AI? Of course they are. Everything is about AI now. Like it’s going to solve all our problems. It’s just a fancy algorithm. But apparently, OpenAI partnered with Reddit. To access their data? So they can train their algorithm on… what? Cat videos and conspiracy theories? It’s a disaster waiting to happen.
Revenue up 70%? Driven by increased ad impressions? So they’re just shoving more ads in people’s faces? Brilliant. And they’re charging more for those ads? That’s… aggressive. But apparently, it works. People are falling for it.
Analysts are projecting 37% annualized earnings growth? That’s… optimistic. Especially considering the forward price-to-earnings ratio is only 21. It’s a steal? Please. It’s a gamble. A highly speculative, potentially disastrous gamble. But hey, what do I know? I’m just a guy who’s been doing this a long time. And I’m starting to think everyone else is completely insane.
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2026-02-21 08:02