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Everyone’s talking about trillion-dollar markets by 2031, which, let’s be honest, is a number designed to make you ignore the fact that nobody really knows what’s going to happen. Investing in AI isn’t necessarily a bad move, but it’s less about finding the next Apple and more about avoiding the digital equivalent of Beanie Babies. I’ve spent the last few weeks trying to make sense of it all, mostly to formulate a coherent response to Uncle Gary. It’s been… enlightening, if by “enlightening” you mean “slightly terrifying.”

The tale, as it unfolds, concerns a modest investment – a mere nine hundred million, a trifle in the grand accounting of these behemoths – placed in the hands of SpaceX, a company dedicated to the improbable task of hurling metal tubes into the heavens. At the time, it was a gamble, a whimsical fancy, akin to wagering on a particularly ambitious pigeon. Now, however, the pigeon has taken flight, and the prospect of a return has roused the attention of the financial world – and, naturally, the insatiable appetite of Alphabet’s shareholders.

Then you’ve got this BITQ, the Bitwise Crypto Industry Innovators ETF. Innovators? Really? It’s a fund that invests in companies related to crypto. Related! So, you’re not even getting the actual thing. It’s like wanting a steak and getting a picture of a cow. And the expense ratio? 0.85%! Eighty-five cents on the dollar just to have them pick stocks of companies that might benefit from the whole crypto circus. It’s a racket, I tell you. A perfectly acceptable racket, because everyone’s doing it. Which makes it even more infuriating.

I’m looking at the Vanguard Information Technology ETF (VGT 0.05%). It’s not a miracle cure. It’s a collection of code and silicon, of algorithms and ambition. But it’s a solid base. Safer than betting on the next unicorn. A way to tap into the growth, without the gut punch when the hype fades. They talk about turning $150 a month into a fortune. That’s marketing. But the math… the math holds up. Thirty years. That’s a long time. Most folks won’t stick with it. That’s their loss.

D-Wave emerged, blinking and bewildered, via the now-fashionable route of a Special Purpose Acquisition Company – a SPAC, if you will – in August 2022, debuting at the pedestrian price of $10 per share. It then, predictably, plummeted. A swift descent into the sub-$2 territory. One almost felt sympathy… almost.

Back in 2012, when this thing IPO’d, it was like the Gold Rush all over again, only instead of panning for gold, you were clicking “like” on pictures of cats. The stock has gone up 1,520% since then. That’s… a lot. More than my Aunt Mildred’s collection of porcelain dolls, and that’s saying something. It’s even outperformed the S&P 500. Which, let’s be honest, isn’t exactly a high bar these days. It’s like winning a race against a sloth. Still, you take what you can get.

The accumulation now represents approximately 2.2 shares – a delightfully imprecise figure, wouldn’t you agree? – valued at a respectable $86.2 million. This, my dear reader, constitutes 11.3% of their assets under management. A significant devotion, wouldn’t you agree? To place so much faith in a single fund is either astute foresight or a charming lack of diversification. Time, as always, will reveal the truth, though I suspect the market cares little for such distinctions.

The filing came, a dry document from the Securities and Exchange Commission, recording the withdrawal. Vaughan Nelson reduced its stake, leaving only a sliver of ownership – 0.33% of their holdings, compared to 1.7% not long ago. It’s the way of things, isn’t it? The big hands always seem to be shifting, rearranging the pieces while the rest of us watch, hoping not to be crushed.

VOO, a wide-angle lens upon the S&P 500, gathers in 505 companies, a panorama of the nation’s economic life. DIA, by contrast, focuses on a select company of 30, a curated collection, each a titan in its own right. The difference is not merely numerical; it is a matter of perspective. One seeks to embrace the whole, the other to highlight the most prominent peaks.

But which one is more likely to make your pockets jingle with extra coins? Both are a bit of a gamble, mind you – like betting on a snail in a race – but one appears to be the slightly less wobbly prospect. It’s a curious case, this, and requires a bit of peering under the hood.