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Goldman Sachs (GS +0.95%), a name that positively rings with authority, reportedly had a cool $1.6 billion tied up in Bitcoin exchange-traded funds (ETFs) at the close of last year. JPMorgan (JPM +0.86), not to be outdone, had dipped its toe in with about $343 million as of November. Even the more cautious chaps at Bank of America (BAC +1.50) and Wells Fargo (WFC +2.12) have been seen making modest investments. Rather suggests they suspect something rather jolly might be brewing, wouldn’t you agree?

SoFi, it seems, is attracting new customers to its digital banking platform at a positively dizzying rate, breaking its own records with each passing quarter. Observe, if you will, the numbers:

The paperwork, filed with the SEC on February 2, 2026, confirms the exit. Robocap’s stake went to zero, which, in the grand scheme of things, is a rather definitive number. They’d held the shares for a while, apparently, but decided to redistribute the funds elsewhere. One imagines a small meeting, perhaps with biscuits. The value of those shares, averaged over the quarter, came to just over five million dollars. It’s a substantial sum, enough to buy a surprisingly large number of biscuits, I suspect.

The pursuit of quantum computing, a field as perplexing to the uninitiated as a complicated inheritance, has seen IBM establish itself as a frontrunner. One observes a number of smaller enterprises – Rigetti Computing and D-Wave Quantum amongst them – venturing into this same territory, yet they lack the established reputation, and, crucially, the substantial resources, to mount a truly formidable challenge. It is, one might say, a matter of securing a suitable establishment, rather than building a mere cottage.

The details are almost offensively mundane: $23.04 million transaction, average closing price, blah, blah, blah. But beneath the numbers, a story is unfolding. A liquidation. A scramble for the exits. Apeiron, it seems, is shrinking faster than my tolerance for bad financial news. They’ve gone from a full-blown investment firm to a five-holding ghost town. AUM down 59% this quarter. Fifty-nine percent! That’s not a correction, that’s a collapse.

Investors, you see, are rather like a flock of excitable pigeons. They spot a shiny crumb (a hot stock) and dive for it, flapping and squawking until the crumb is nothing but dust. This is precisely what’s happening with these GLP-1 potions. Everyone’s rushing in, convinced they’ve discovered the elixir of eternal riches. It’s a bit silly, really.

Rivian makes fancy pickups, SUVs, and delivery vans. Very… upscale. They promised the moon in 2021 – 50,000 vehicles in 2022! A bold claim. They delivered… fewer. 24,337. Supply chain issues, they said. The usual suspects. Like blaming the lack of gefilte fish on a pickle shortage. In 2023, they doubled that to 57,232. Progress! But 2024? A bit of a stumble – 49,476. Inflation, higher interest rates, fewer handouts… the usual parade of doom. They’re aimin’ for 40,000 to 46,000 in 2025. A modest goal, really. And, oh yes, they’re still losing money. It’s a good thing they have investors, isn’t it?

Hussman, a fund known for its deliberate steps and long views – a rare breed in a world obsessed with the immediate shimmer of profit – had, it was revealed through the meticulous dance of SEC filings, deepened its embrace of Etsy, the purveyor of handmade wonders and vintage echoes. An additional $2.56 million, a sum that could have built a small palace of data centers or funded a fleet of algorithmic traders, was quietly allocated to 42,000 new shares. It wasn’t a sudden burst of enthusiasm, but a steady accretion, a belief whispered into the ear of the market, that Etsy held something enduring, something beyond the fleeting trends.

Huang spoke, as men often do, of belief, of the ‘incredible’ work being undertaken. Such pronouncements, while earnest enough, rarely withstand the cold scrutiny of the marketplace. He alluded to a ‘great deal of money,’ a phrase that, in the language of finance, is akin to saying the sky is blue – accurate, but lacking in specificity. The sum, he hinted, would be ‘huge’ – a word that echoes with the hollow resonance of unrealized potential.

The chronicles speak of a decline. Intel, it appears, has been tracing a downward spiral since the year 2021 – a mere blink in the geological timescale of technology, yet an eternity in the feverish present. Projections for the first quarter of 2026 offer little solace: earnings hovering at the null point, a void mirroring the company’s apparent trajectory. A factory in Ohio, intended as a locus of renewal, remains a phantom, its opening date receding into the mists of 2030, or perhaps even 2031 – a delay that suggests not logistical challenges, but a fundamental miscalculation.