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One Herr Jake Ostrovskis, a man of some consequence in the world of Over-the-Counter trading (a rather shady business, if you ask me), has declared, with the solemnity of a judge sentencing a babushka for selling turnips on a Sunday, that the markets have abandoned all hope of a year-end flourish. Calls, it seems, are being… rolled down. As if one rolls a particularly unfortunate gambler’s debts! Bets are being capped, aspirations cooled. They are not anticipating some grand, explosive ascension to new, dizzying heights. Such audacity!

With this acquisition, Robinhood is not just dipping its toes into prediction markets. Oh no, my friends. They’re launching a full-on futures and derivatives exchange and clearinghouse, which, as Reuters so eloquently put it, is going to make them a major player in this oh-so-trendy space. Because who doesn’t love betting on the future, right? 🎰📉

Well, brace yourselves. While lower issuance might spice things up by creating scarcity (fewer tokens = more value, maybe?), there’s a catch. Lower inflation means reduced staking yields. And that, my friends, is like getting a beautiful cake with no frosting. Sure, it’s still a cake, but is it really worth the calories?

The token’s price, a fickle mistress, has swelled from Phase 1 to Phase 7, leaving early investors with holdings as plump as a goose in autumn, while latecomers gnash their teeth in envy. Such is the way of the world, where timing is everything and wisdom is often hindsight. ⏳

Once upon a time, Bitcoin was the darling of cyberpunks and those charming bearded libertarians who spent their days waving their arms and discussing freedom. But darling, now that Bitcoin’s been given the glamorous green light by ETFs-yes, exchange-traded funds-the new Bitcoin enthusiast could very well be a Wall Street executive in a crisply pressed navy suit. These ETFs now hold a stunning 1.5 million BTC, or a nifty 7.2% of the total supply. Meanwhile, public companies have also jumped on the bandwagon. This, my dear, might just explain why Bitcoin’s rally to $90K was practically dancing in lockstep with the stock market’s little Thanksgiving pre-party.

The price of Ethereum recently broke through a key resistance level of $2,981, reaching around $3,031. This increase helped push the overall cryptocurrency market capitalization up by 1.2%, to approximately $3.04 trillion.

In their finest moment of paperwork submission, Grayscale filed a Form S-3 with the United States Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC), formally requesting approval to convert their Zcash fund (oh yes, the mighty Zcash) into a spot ETF. This wasn’t just a whim; they’ve already got other ETFs under their belt-Bitcoin (BTC), Ether (ETH), Dogecoin (DOGE), and even the mysterious XRP (XRP). They’re basically the buffet of cryptocurrency ETFs at this point. 🍽️

Well, large Bitcoin deposits and a sad decline in USDT exchange balances are telling a different story. Spoiler alert: This recovery might be the financial equivalent of a house of cards.

It is with no small degree of admiration that one observes BCH’s technical breakout, maintaining its position above the $520 resistance level with a steadfastness that would put the most resolute of heroines to shame. The asset is buoyed by several indicators of a most bullish nature, including a Relative Strength Index (RSI) of 52.62, trending upwards with a vigor that suggests a sustained rebound from its recent indiscretion. 📈