Right. So, 2026. Not exactly starting with fireworks, is it? Cathie Wood, the woman who makes even me feel like I should be bolder with my portfolio (which, let’s be honest, mostly consists of guilt-free retail therapy disguised as “essential purchases”), is having a bit of a wobble. Her flagship fund is down 10% year-to-date. Ten percent! It feels…significant. Last year it was all soaring valuations and talk of disruption. Now? Well, now it’s just…numbers. And numbers, I’ve discovered, have a habit of going down. I keep telling myself I’m a long-term investor. I really do. It’s just…the short term is so much more immediate.
Anyway, she’s not panicking (or at least, not visibly). Instead, she’s doing that thing where she buys more of the stuff that’s going down. A bit like when I see a sale on cashmere sweaters…it just feels right. She picked up some more Advanced Micro Devices (AMD), Broadcom (AVGO), and Coinbase (COIN) on Tuesday. More. As if adding to a losing position will magically fix things. I’m starting a list: “Things Cathie Wood Does That I Simultaneously Admire and Fear.” It’s quite long. Let’s have a closer look, shall we? It’s a distraction, of course. From checking my own portfolio. Which is probably a bad idea.
1. Advanced Micro Devices (AMD)
AMD. Down 24% from its peak. Twenty-four percent! It’s enough to make you consider a career change. Like, becoming a professional organizer. Or a lighthouse keeper. Anything to avoid looking at stock charts. The big drop came earlier this month, after they announced their results. A 17% tumble in a single day. Ouch. I felt a sympathetic pang. Truly.
Actually, the quarter itself wasn’t terrible. Revenue up 34% to $10.3 billion. Which, let’s be honest, is still a lot of money. Data center revenue up 39%, gaming up 37%. They’re ticking all the right boxes, technically. It’s just…the market is obsessed with AI. And apparently, AMD isn’t AI-y enough right now. It’s like being the best dancer at a party, but everyone wants a magician.
Their guidance was a bit…underwhelming. Below what analysts expected. A sequential dip in revenue. It’s always the guidance, isn’t it? The future is scary. But still, 30% revenue growth is expected, even at the midpoint of their guidance. And analysts see 34% for the year, accelerating to 39% in 2027. 19 times next year’s earnings seems reasonable. Especially if those tariffs ease. Although, let’s be real, hoping for political solutions feels…optimistic. Units of Hope Invested: 1. Hours Spent Doomscrolling Trade News: 6.
2. Broadcom
Broadcom. Down 20% from its December high. It’s a six-bagger over five years, apparently. Which sounds…impressive. I’m starting to feel inadequate. A “pick-and-shovel play” in the AI boom, they say. Meaning they provide the tools for others to build the shiny AI things. Which is…sensible. I suppose.
Revenue growth slowed to 24% last year, from 44% previously. But analysts expect 52% this year. A bit of a rebound. And they’ve been hiking their dividend for 15 years. Fifteen years! I haven’t even been consistent with my skincare routine for 15 days. Capital appreciation and a dividend. It’s almost…responsible. 32 times earnings this year, 23 times next year. Still not cheap, but…less alarming. I’m adding “Become a Dividend Investor” to my list of things I’ll do “someday.”
3. Coinbase
Coinbase. Oh, Coinbase. Down 63% since last summer. Sixty-three percent! It’s like watching a perfectly good soufflé collapse. The global appetite for crypto has cooled. Apparently, everyone decided that maybe, just maybe, digital currencies weren’t the answer to all their problems. Who knew? As the leading hub for crypto, they’re getting pinched. It’s like being a lifeguard at an indoor pool.
Their recent results weren’t exactly inspiring. Revenue, transaction revenue, subscription revenue – all down. And operating expenses are up. It’s a perfect storm of badness. Their guidance for subscription revenue is expected to decline 18%. Eighteen percent! I’m seriously considering taking up pottery. It feels…safer.
I’m adding “Avoid Companies Reliant on Crypto Hype” to my list of things I learned today. It’s a surprisingly long list. Hours Spent Questioning Life Choices: 4. Number of Times I Considered Selling Everything and Becoming a Beekeeper: 2.
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2026-02-18 21:14