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These aren’t the companies making headlines with promises of virtual reality and sentient toasters. They make things people actually use. Tools, mostly, in this particular case. The sort of things that, if they suddenly ceased to be, would cause a surprisingly large amount of domestic chaos. (Consider, for a moment, the implications of a world without screwdrivers. It’s not pretty.) This lack of fanfare, oddly enough, is the point. It keeps the price down, and the dividend yield… well, let’s talk about the dividend.

Nvidia. Honestly, at this point, it’s less a company and more a force of nature. They make the chips that run everything, including my smart toaster (which, by the way, keeps burning my bagels). They’re the reason AI isn’t just a plot device in bad sci-fi movies, it’s a real thing that’s slowly taking over the world. And they’re sold out. Like, completely. That’s a good sign, unless you’re a data center looking for GPUs. They’re basically the Beyoncé of semiconductors – everyone wants a piece. The fact that they’re not even factoring in potential Chinese sales is…well, it’s either genius or reckless. I’m leaning toward genius. They report earnings on February 25th, and if the guidance is even remotely positive, expect the hype train to leave the station. It’s still early days for AI, and Nvidia is currently the only viable way to get in on the ground floor. Unless you have a time machine and can invest in ENIAC.

The markets, of course, were bullish on Tesla, as they are on all fashionable ventures. But Wood’s bullishness was of a different order. It was a solitary beacon, a willingness to see beyond the immediate currents of speculation. And, as it transpired, she was proven correct. Not merely correct, but early. Two years before the appointed time, the prediction materialized. This is not to say all her prognostications have borne fruit. The world is a labyrinth of uncertainties, and even the most astute observer will stumble. But to dismiss her insights outright would be an act of willful blindness.

Both of these funds, you understand, aim to provide exposure to those companies peddling the things one simply must have, regardless of whether the economic ship is sailing smoothly or battling a bit of a squall. A most sensible approach, naturally. But which one, precisely, is the better conveyance for a prudent investor’s hard-earned cash? Let’s have a look, shall we, at the costs, the returns, the general air of respectability, and the composition of their respective portfolios.

Wall Street, ever optimistic, predicts data center revenue of $320 to $330 billion by 2026. A sum sufficient to purchase a small principality, or perhaps fund a particularly ambitious opera. Nvidia, it seems, is capturing a full 60% of big tech’s infrastructure spending. One begins to suspect a conspiracy. A secret pact between silicon and ambition.

I’m looking at Alphabet (GOOG 0.85%) (GOOGL 0.80%) and Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing (TSM +0.25%). They’re both doing things that seem…necessary. Like air and water. And they’re both making a lot of money doing it. Which, let’s be honest, is the whole point, isn’t it?

Now, I’m not sayin’ Walmart’s a bad company. Far from it! They’re sellin’ everything from bananas to bazookas…well, not bazookas, but you get the idea. They’ve managed to grow, even with the economy doin’ the cha-cha one minute and the limbo the next. Resilience? They got it in spades! But a price-to-earnings ratio in the forties? That’s where I start lookin’ for the hidden camera. It’s like payin’ a million bucks for a slightly used hot dog. A very good hot dog, mind you, but still…

Both of these funds are supposed to give you a slice of the ‘essential goods’ pie. Things people buy even when, you know, the world is ending. But they go about it differently. PBJ is a curated selection; KXI is more of a ‘everything but the kitchen sink’ approach. We’ll dig into that, because frankly, I’m nosy, and you probably are too.