The transaction, recorded with the solemnity of a coroner’s report, reduced the fund’s exposure by precisely 100,461 shares during the third quarter. This surgical reduction left 245,581 shares trembling in the cold embrace of market forces, now valued at $14.6 million-a sum that would soon prove more theoretical than actual.
The Senate, that paragon of efficiency, has finally brokered a budget bill to end the longest-ever government shutdown. One might say it’s a triumph of democracy, or perhaps just a temporary reprieve from the chaos. 🚀
Pi Network is getting ready to launch its mainnet version 23. After a successful first test phase where millions of transactions were processed with very few errors, the network has proven it can handle a lot of activity like a real-world system.
Ah, Strategy (MSTR), the grand corporate champion of bitcoin, announced on Monday that it splashed a staggering $49.9 million on bitcoin just last week. The result? An impressive 641,692 bitcoins stashed away, worth an eye-watering $68 billion at today’s dizzying prices.
In the grand theatre of market chaos, over 117,978 traders-longs and shorts-found themselves purged in a whirlwind of losses totaling approximately $342 million. Bitcoin? Leading the parade with a formidable $116 million lost, proving that in crypto, fortune favors the bold… and occasionally the foolish. The shorts, in particular, took the brunt – roughly $107 million, as they bet on further decline and got… well, a surprise rally instead. Classic! 😄
Bitcoin, ever the opportunist, joins the risk assets in their triumphant rebound, as if the US government’s shutdown were but a fleeting nightmare. 🌈
Apparently, there was a BLP Testnet launch. Which, let’s be real, sounds like something out of a sci-fi film. But apparently, it’s good news for the whole ‘lending and borrowing’ thing in DeFi – which is, I’m told, exciting. Big players are throwing money around like confetti, naturally, creating a little bit of a wobble (aka volatility, for the uninitiated). You know, because why not?
Qian, a fugitive who mastered the art of “I’m not a criminal… I’m a wealth deity!” since 2017 (using expired passports and a Wikipedia of hilighter smearies), is now set for a London trial that feels like a real-life version of “The Attorney Inevitably Wins 😬.”
Ledger, the French company that’s basically the Fort Knox of crypto wallets, is plotting a public listing next year. Because what says “trust” better than going public while hackers are busy robbing exchanges like it’s Black Friday at the mall? 🛍️
