In a stunning display of crypto spite and capitalistic exuberance, Monad has allegedly secured $269 million from 85,820 subscribers-perhaps victims of coupon-clicking hypnosis-raising eyebrows and price graphs before their mainnet debuts.
Verily, the tech stocks and crypto markets have been cast into the abyss these past fortnight, a calamity wrought by the fickle expectations of a rate cut, as Charles Edwards, the wise founder of Capriole Fund, did proclaim on the platform of X. 🕊️📉 “As the market doth revert,” quoth he, “so too shall Bitcoin be carried aloft, though by what winds, none can say with certainty.”
Here’s the scoop:
On the 22nd of November, the grand strategist Michael Saylor, a man whose faith in Bitcoin is as unshakable as a Bolshevik’s belief in the revolution, took to the digital square of X to poll the masses. “Did you HODL this week?” he asked, as Bitcoin’s price plummeted like a fallen comrade in battle. The response? A resounding 77.8% of 133,156 souls said, “Yes, we held!” 🛡️✊
This union, my dear reader, promises to blend the old with the new-traditional finance and digital assets, hand in hand, in a nation where technology reigns supreme. A match as inevitable as a Russian winter, yet as intriguing as a Turgenev novel. 🌐✨
Before unveiling the merits of this particular gentleman of industry, let us first consider the broader class of Dividend Kings. In the grand ballroom of the S&P 500, where many stocks perform their lively quadrilles of fluctuating payouts, only a select few maintain the decorum of unbroken dividend increases for fifty years or more. Among these, Parker-Hannifin distinguishes itself not merely by longevity, but by the quiet excellence of its 69-year streak-a record that places it in the upper echelon of financial propriety.
That inflow of new capital, however, appears limited at the moment, creating uncertainty around Ethereum’s next move. It’s like trying to fill a swimming pool with a garden hose while everyone’s distracted by a squirrel. 🐿️
Market behaviour in the mid-cap digital asset world has been as unpredictable as a thunderstorm in the Sahara. Driven more by macroeconomic expectations than asset-specific catalysts, these erratic movements have shaped the course of WIF as well. Intraday fluctuations have offered fleeting opportunities for active traders while simultaneously throwing more risk into the cauldron. How delightful! The conditions, naturally, call for disciplined positioning, as uncertainty reigns supreme in the crypto sector. ⚖️
According to data compiled by the crypto ATM tracker coinatmradar.com, the global total of digital currency dispensing machines now sits at 39,122. Because nothing says “stability” like a number that’s just shy of 40,000. 💸
While the crypto markets were having a nervous breakdown, El Salvador swooped in like a society darling at a bargain sale, snapping up 1,098.19 BTC. Yes, darling, they’ve added another $101.14 million to their treasure trove, as bitcoin prices flirted with $92.1K. President Nayib Bukele, ever the showman, announced it with a triumphant “Hooah” and a dashboard screenshot that screamed, “Look at me, I’m fabulous!” 🌟📸
