Oaktree’s Labyrinthine Bet on Core Scientific

According to the cryptic scrolls of the Securities and Exchange Commission, Oaktree initiated a new position in Core Scientific during the third quarter. The fund, in its infinite quest for value, purchased 6.4 million shares, their worth estimated at $114.8 million as of September 30. This addition swelled Oaktree’s collection of 13F reportable positions to 62, each a fragment of a larger, unknowable tapestry.

Ethereum’s $3K Gambit: Will It Outwit BTC’s Black Friday Massacre? 🎭📉

Ethereum, the crypto world’s beleaguered knight, parries blows at $3000 with a sword forged from “relatively stable price action.” Its daily chart resembles a drunkard’s waltz-higher lows, yet still dancing in the $3050-3100 trap. A fortress? Perhaps. But the walls are paper-thin, and the enemy (read: $3250) looms with a satchel of sell orders. One wonders if ETH’s “stability” is merely a magician’s sleight of hand. 🧙♂️💸

Ethereum Crashes, Wealthy Whales Play Poker in the ruins 🎭💸

Lookonchain, that nosy oracle of blockchain secrets, whispers of a new player-BitMine Immersion Technologies, a collection of Wall Street strategists and dreamers, seemingly indifferent to the chaos, scooping up ETH as if it were mere dust to be hoarded. One wallet, possibly connected to the shadowy firm, receiving 9,176 ETH from Galaxy Digital’s OTC vault-enough to buy you a small island in a different currency-and all the while, the “longs” (those faithful believers) keep adding to their treasure hoards. Taiwanese pop star Jeffrey Huang, a.k.a. “Machi Big Brother,” joins the fun-adding thousands more ETH, probably dreaming of the day this nosedive turns into a moonshot. Meanwhile, his less famous brother, “Machi Small Brother,” is holding tight, adding margin, desperately clinging to hope, like a drowning man clutching at straws. 🎤💼

Beware, Folks! Bitcoin’s Plunge to $88K-A Descent Worse Than a Hot Potato! 🐳📉

Bitcoin’s been dancin’ around that $100,000 mark like a chicken chasin’ its tail-up a little, down a little, but never far enough to stir up excitement. It’s been trapped in a range tighter than a jar of pickles, from $101k to $105k, which is about as thrilling as watchin’ paint dry at a funeral. But hey, if you thought that was dull, wait till you hear about the “descending pattern” that’s got bears grinnin’ wider than a cat in a room full of chickens. 🐾