In his appearance on Crypto Prime, McClurg explained that the XRP Ledger is not a digital currency like Bitcoin or Ethereum, but rather a financial network designed to move money across the globe quickly and affordably. Imagine Western Union on steroids-or, for the more sophisticated reader, a highly efficient international banking system. 💰🚀
Bybit and some people called Block Scholes (sounds very Bond villain, doesn’t it?) have produced a report suggesting Bitcoin tried to, like, bounce back this month. Bless its heart. It didn’t work. It immediately went back to sulking in a very tight range. Weak confidence? You don’t say! 🤷♀️
Teresa Goody Guillén – and honestly, a name like that has to be good – has insisted the whole thing was terribly… proper. Multi-step review, involving the Justice Department and White House lawyers. Apparently, there’s paperwork. Who knew? 🤷♀️
While most altcoins are sulking in the corner with participation trophies, Pi Network’s PI is giving everyone the side-eye. 5% up since Sunday, you say? That’s breaking the rules of the slump like, what, does it not know crypto is in a midlife crisis? 🤷♀️ricks.
The Central Bank of Brazil has, at last, deigned to finalize regulations tackling virtual asset service providers (VASPs) and stablecoin transactions, establishing the rules these entities must follow to operate within its borders. Really, as if they hadn’t enough to worry about.
Kuo Zhang, said to be a president at Alibaba.com, declared to CNBC that tokenized fiat shall “simplify” payments. A bold lie! For who but merchants in 2015 dare to ” унифицировать” (unify) anything? Meanwhile, Agentic Pay-AI’s latest masquerade-shall automate settlements with “smart contracts.” Why, it’s like asking a goat to herd lawyers! Launch date? Who needs one when you’re selling hope in algorithmic coupons?
Behold, Dogecoin (DOGE) whispers of a recovery, having kissed the major support at $0.16, as though it were a long-lost friend. 🥺
The grand total of approximately $245 million flowing into the ETF, coupled with nearly $60 million traded on launch day, was certainly record-breaking-if you’re a historian of insignificant events. It’s barely 1% of XRP’s market value, for those who prefer their investments served with a side of humility. The demand was akin to a whisper in a tornado-hardly enough to sway a titan. As the hype evaporated quicker than a politician’s promise, the price took a nosedive, leaving traders to ponder their life choices. 💸💥
It’s a curious arithmetic-the transaction, weighted at an average of $31.34 per share, a slightly higher whisper than the market close of $30.42-manages to toe the line between pragmatism and sentimental peak. While such sale sizes echo the paltry median of recent trading scores, the question lurks: is Hao merely humming along the financial scale, or orchestrating a more intricate symphony?