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One feels, naturally, a certain degree of interest in the details, to ascertain whether this upward trajectory is likely to continue. Let’s have a closer look, shall we?

The plan, as it stands, involves scaling back production of the Model S and X – the posh ones, if you will – and repurposing a factory to churn out humanoid robots. A million a year, they say. A million! That’s a lot of robots. It reminds me of a story about a chap who decided to collect bottle caps. Started reasonably enough, but within a year his house was entirely filled. One hopes Tesla has a slightly more robust storage solution. The third generation Optimus is due this quarter, apparently designed for actual mass production. One assumes they’ve ironed out the kinks – the last thing you want is a million robots with a penchant for spontaneous combustion.

Amazon. The big one. Lagged a bit, they say. Twelve months in the shadows. But shadows don’t last forever. Earnings are a slow burn, but they’re burning. Efficiency’s the name of the game, and they’re playing it. I’d wager a good nickel they’ll be showing a brighter face when the next quarterly report drops.

They call it the January Barometer. A fancy name for a simple idea: how the month goes, so goes the year. Some folks chase these things like they’re looking for a lost paycheck. I don’t put much stock in luck, but I do pay attention to patterns. Especially when those patterns might fatten a portfolio.

Look, I’m not saying AI isn’t the future. I’m saying if you want to actually make money from it, forget the software for a minute. The real opportunity? It’s always been in the pick-and-shovel game. The stuff that actually makes the magic happen. Which brings us to two companies I’ve been eyeing: Micron Technology and Broadcom. Don’t expect fireworks, but a quiet, steady burn is sometimes the best kind.

One shouldn’t chase miracles, of course. Just… reasonably solid ground. A few names suggest themselves, not as beacons of triumph, but as… manageable disappointments.

Grandview Research whispers of a 5.1% annual growth in the pet care market until 2030. A respectable figure, certainly. But to pin one’s hopes solely on this burgeoning industry… it feels akin to betting on a particularly fluffy poodle in a greyhound race. Chewy, for all its admirable dedication to squeaky toys and organic catnip, is a specialist. Walmart, on the other hand, is… everything. And in this age of rampant consumerism, ‘everything’ possesses a certain terrifying appeal.

USA Rare Earth, they call it. A name that rings with the hollow echo of industrial dreams. The government, ever generous with other people’s money, has dangled a billion-dollar carrot – a loan, a grant, a promise. And private investors, those who always scent opportunity in the wake of national insecurity, are adding another billion and a half. A grand sum, enough to build a mine in Sierra Blanca, a factory in Stillwater. Enough, one hopes, to actually produce something beyond optimistic press releases.

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