
Right, let’s talk about the market. Because honestly, what else is there? It’s a bit like being perpetually on a first date – you think you know where it’s going, but you’re bracing for disappointment. And the S&P 500? That’s the relentlessly charming one that everyone keeps talking about. It holds roughly 80% of the entire U.S. equity value. Eighty percent! It’s practically a monopoly on optimism. And historically? It’s been a pretty good way to build a…well, a pile. A pile of money. Which, let’s be honest, is the point.
So, you’ve got five hundred bucks burning a hole in your pocket? Good. Don’t buy shoes. Buy exposure. Specifically, exposure through an exchange-traded fund, or ETF. It’s a grown-up way of saying “basket of stocks.” And the one I’m looking at? The Vanguard S&P 500 ETF. (VOO +0.06%). It’s got a cool $1.5 trillion sloshing around inside. Which, if you think about it, is a terrifying amount of trust. People really believe in this thing.
Diversification, but Make it Concentrated
Basically, it’s 500 large, profitable companies. The usual suspects. Buying VOO is like placing a collective bet on the American economy. It’s a surprisingly passive aggressive move, when you think about it. You’re saying, “Yeah, I believe in you, America. Don’t let me down.” It’s got everything from materials and real estate – the slightly boring bits – to the exciting stuff, like technology. Which, let’s face it, is where all the action is these days.
And speaking of action, the “Magnificent Seven” – Apple, Microsoft, Nvidia, Amazon, Alphabet, Tesla, and Meta – make up a rather significant 35% of the ETF. Thirty-five percent! It’s a bit like going to a party and realizing everyone is talking to the same five people. It’s not necessarily bad. Just…concentrated. You need to be okay with that. And you should probably be bullish on tech – especially the artificial intelligence stuff – if you’re even considering this. If you’re not, you might want to just put the five hundred bucks in a savings account. Or on a really nice bottle of wine.
Decades, Darling. Think Decades.
Look, owning this ETF isn’t exactly rocket science. It’s incredibly low-maintenance. And the expense ratio? A measly 0.03%. That means you keep almost all of your money. Which, let’s be honest, is a win. Performance-wise? It’s been…decent. A total return of 343% over the last decade (as of Feb. 9). Turning ten grand into over forty-four? I mean, I’d take that. It’s significantly better than the S&P 500’s long-term historical average of 10%. Though averages are just…comforting lies, aren’t they?
Of course, the bears will tell you the market is overvalued. That returns won’t resemble the recent past. And they’re probably right. They usually are. But the bulls will insist the good times will roll on forever. And honestly? I’m not taking sides. I’m just suggesting you think long-term. Decades, darling. If you can stomach it. The market tends to reward patience. Or at least, it doesn’t actively punish it. Which, sometimes, is enough.
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2026-02-14 14:52