Wall Street, the late bloomers of the party, have finally caught the Bloom Energy buzz. Today, Morgan Stanley gave the stock a midlife crisis-level price target hike-from $44 to $85-because apparently, $44 wasn’t *fueled enough* for their spreadsheets. At noon ET, shares were up 7.2%, which is basically the stock market’s version of a standing ovation… if ovations had ticker symbols.
It is, after all, time to part ways with this fleeting creature.
In the grand theater of finance, Pantera Capital’s maestro, Morehead, declares Solana the jewel in the portfolio crown-$1.1 billion of glittering hope.
Let us reflect on the tragic tale of the company’s financials, where the numbers, though still large in their own right, failed to live up to their previous selves, much like a fading opera singer clinging to a past glory. Revenue remained stagnant at $557.4 million, a whisper under the analysts’ call for $562.7 million. Comparable sales fell by a startling 3%-a dip that reveals something far more troubling beneath the surface. It’s not just the arcade lights that are flickering, but the company’s soul. The customers, once loyal, are now trickling out the door, perhaps looking for a new source of entertainment, or perhaps fleeing from the entropy that has set in.
Now, this isn’t just a casual handshake between two industry giants. Oh no, Polymarket is officially Stocktwits’ “Prediction Markets Partner” – and according to them, this is one of their biggest moves in history. That’s right, folks, this is history in the making. Or at least, it’s what they’re telling us. 😏
It all started with a bit of a shake-up in the leadership department. CEO Carrie Wheeler, after presumably spinning too many plates, stepped down, and the company wasted no time in grabbing the next bright spark in the tech world. Enter stage left: Kaz Nejatian, a name so perfect for a CEO that it could have been plucked straight from a corporate fantasy novel. Nejatian, the former COO of Shopify – that titan of e-commerce that has never met a ‘success’ it didn’t like – brings with him a delightful history of fiddling with payment technology. His last invention, Kash, was sold off in 2017, likely for a rather nice sum.
With 120 million customers in Brazil, Mexico, and Colombia, Nu isn’t just a fintech-it’s a full-blown revolution for people who previously thought “banking” meant waiting in line while your coffee went cold. Its stock is up 46% this year, which is impressive, if you ignore the nagging question of why anyone still needs a stock to validate something this obvious.
Bitcoin, that venerable old sailor of the digital realm, has sailed far since its humble days of trading 50 $BTC for a pizza. Now, it reigns supreme as the uncontested monarch of cryptocurrencies, its market cap swelling to a staggering $2.30T. Yet, like a grand old ship, it moves with deliberate slowness, processing a mere 7 to 10 transactions per second. Ah, the irony of progress! ⏳
These five stocks, scattered like wildflowers across the spectrum of speculation and certainty, offer a bouquet for those who dare to taste the spring of progress.
Though ASML’s stock has risen by 17% year-to-date, it’s still significantly off its peak-26% down from its July 2024 high. This sharp decline is a stark reminder that the expectations placed on the company have not been met. For a company that controls such a crucial piece of the tech supply chain, it’s remarkable how easy it is for investors to disregard the strategic importance of its product.