🚨 Bitcoin’s Wild Ride: Are You Next to Get Trapped? 🚨

Enter Captain Faibik, the crypto analyst with a name that sounds like a pirate but talks like a prophet. ⚓ He’s waving his hands frantically, shouting that this isn’t just a hiccup-it’s the beginning of a major correction! Late buyers, beware! You might just find yourselves trapped in a digital dungeon, while the big fish swim away with their treasure. 🤑

The Lurking Giant of Dividends: Can Target Help You Grow Rich Despite the Bear?

When folks talk about the S&P 500 (^GSPC)-that most revered of stock market indexes-if it falls by 20% from its highest point, it’s declared a “bear market.” And, by all accounts, Target is being mauled. It has lost more than 45% of its value in the past year, and a dismal two-thirds of its value over the past five years. A sight so ugly, you’d think it was the monster from the deep. Meanwhile, the broader market is off dancing to all-time highs, as oblivious as ever. But there’s a silver lining-oh yes, there is.

Tesla’s Stock: A Ride Through the Looking Glass

Fortunately, Tesla’s EV sales returned to growth in the recent third quarter (ended Sept. 30). The company will release its full operating results for the quarter on Wednesday, Oct. 22, which will give investors an update not only on its EV business, but also on future product platforms like the Cybercab autonomous robotaxi and the Optimus humanoid robot.

Lucid’s Light: Glowing or Going Dark?

For one, investors were not happy when the luxury electric vehicle (EV) company reported lower-than-expected deliveries during the third quarter of 2025. Imagine if your favorite magician forgot to pull a rabbit out of his hat-only to find it had been replaced with a tax audit. *Sigh.*

Bitcoin’s Pulse Flatlines! 🚨 Is the Party Over? 🎉💸

Market efficiency chart

According to a CryptoQuant Quicktake by the ever-observant TeddyVision, Bitcoin’s Inter-Exchange Flow Pulse (IFP) has been drooping like a sad balloon at a canceled birthday party. 🎈😢 This means the crypto exchanges are as quiet as a library during finals week, and arbitrage opportunities are rarer than a polite comment section on the internet. 🕵️♂️🔍

Elon Musk Claims Bitcoin Runs on Energy – But Can You Really Fake That? 😲

Zerohedge, ever the drama queen, linked the surge in gold, silver, and bitcoin to the “currency debasement” caused by governments spending billions on AI arms races. Because nothing says “we’re building a better future” like funding a robot war. 🤖💥 Musk, ever the tech savant, agreed, writing: “True. That is why bitcoin is based on energy: you can issue fake fiat currency, and every government in history has done so, but it is impossible to fake energy.” Because, let’s face it, no one’s going to trick a power plant into thinking it’s generating more electricity than it actually is. ⚡