usdaed

Josh Swihart, the ECC CEO, took to the digital town square (X, as it is now called) to proclaim that his team was “constructively discharged.” A phrase as dramatic as it is legal, it implies that the Bootstrap board, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit, had imposed conditions so intolerable that resignation was the only honorable exit. One cannot help but imagine the board members-Zaki Manian, Christina Garman, Alan Fairless, and Michelle Lai-as characters in a tragicomedy, their actions misaligned with Zcash’s original mission, according to Swihart.

The meteoric rise is largely attributed to a staggering 694% uptick in funds funneled to those oh-so-lucky sanctioned entities, heralding, according to our dear Chainalysis, a bold new epoch of “large-scale nation-state antics” within the shadowy realm of crypto crime. Who knew evading sanctions could be such a lucrative hobby? 💰

It was on a fateful January 7 that we witnessed the first blush of crimson upon the spot XRP exchange-traded funds, as the price of this digital mirage plummeted an astonishing 13% since its ephemeral peak just days prior. Oh, the irony! How swiftly the tides of fortune shift, leaving us gasping in their wake.

As we speak, ENA is parading around at $0.23, sporting a sullen 7.27% dip on the daily charts, which is about as welcome as a mosquito at a picnic. 🦟 I mean, can someone please toss this altcoin a life preserver?

But wait, what could have possibly tickled this coin’s fancy and made it spring to life like a jack-in-the-box? Well, let me tell you, the whales-those big, blubbery investors who usually make quite a splash-have been as quiet as mice. 🐭 Shhh, not a squeak! And that, my dear readers, means something rather peculiar in the world of Dogecoin. It’s like a game of hide and seek, but the whales forgot they were playing! 🤭

McDonald, with the gravitas of a man selling ice to Eskimos, lamented that retail investors often let their stablecoins gather dust. “Why let your money sleep?” he intoned, as if addressing a room of somnambulists. He then revealed two grand methods to awaken these slumbering assets. The first, investing in interest-bearing stablecoins, is a privilege reserved for those in “certain jurisdictions”-a phrase as vague as a politician’s promise. The second, collateralizing stablecoins in DeFi protocols like Aave, is touted as the on-chain equivalent of a get-rich-quick scheme, albeit with fewer guarantees than a carnival game. 🌈

who can participate, what rules they follow, and what economic flows keep it going,” Hollyer said in a Jan. 7 X post. (Ah, yes, because nothing says “democracy” like a token that only the wealthy can afford. 🤑)

Pepe
$0.000006, with its 24h volatility of 7.1% and a market cap of $2.64 B, is strutting around like a rooster at dawn. Shiba Inu, at $0.000009, with 4.0% volatility and a $5.12 B market cap, is wagging its tail like it’s got a bone buried. And Floki, $0.000053, with 6.3% volatility and a $513.24 M market cap, is howling at the moon like it’s got something to prove.

Behold, the mighty J.P. Morgan, that titan of finance, now dares to whisper to the blockchain! 🌐 With its digital dollar, JPM Coin (JPMD-ticker), it seeks to dance on the Canton Network, a public blockchain that promises to make institutions feel… secure? 🤡