Crypto February: A Slightly Anxious Portfolio Update

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Right. February. The month where resolutions crumble, chocolate consumption spikes, and I attempt to appear financially savvy. It’s all going swimmingly, naturally. The crypto market, as you may have noticed, is currently experiencing what I’m calling a “full-blown wobble.” Units of Cryptocurrency Lost: 7. Hours Spent Refreshing CoinGecko: An embarrassing number. Bitcoin and Ethereum, once the shining stars, are down anywhere between 20 and 35 percent this year. Honestly, it feels a bit like watching a particularly expensive houseplant slowly wilt.

Still, one must try. One must appear to have a plan. So, I’ve been doing some…research. (Mostly scrolling Twitter and panicking, if I’m being honest.) And two cryptocurrencies have emerged as…less terrifying than the others. Hyperliquid and Pax Gold. Don’t judge me. I’m just trying to survive.

Hyperliquid: The One I Pretend to Understand

Apparently, Hyperliquid is up 24% this year. Which, in the current climate, is practically a miracle. It’s the 12th largest cryptocurrency, with a market cap of $8 billion. I had to Google “market cap” again, by the way. It’s all very complicated. People seem to be rather enthusiastic about it, these…crypto traders. It’s a decentralized exchange, which sounds important, and it allows trading of things called “perpetual futures.” Which sounds even more important. And terrifying. It’s basically betting on where a cryptocurrency will go without actually owning it. It feels…abstract. Like a financial version of a dream.

They’re planning to launch even more complicated products, called “outcomes” contracts. Apparently, these are inspired by prediction markets. Honestly, it’s all a bit much. But, you know, potential for growth. And a vaguely rebellious appeal. It’s also restricted in the US due to regulatory concerns. Which, frankly, feels reassuring. It suggests someone, somewhere, is exercising a modicum of caution. It’s one of the few tokens up for the year with a billion-dollar cap. A small win, really.

Pax Gold: The One That Makes Me Feel Slightly Less Guilty

If Hyperliquid feels a bit…adventurous, can I suggest Pax Gold? It’s “tokenized gold.” Which sounds like something out of a science fiction novel. Basically, each PAXG token is backed by one troy ounce of physical gold stored in a London vault. You can exchange the token for actual gold. Which is…comforting. It’s like having a digital safety blanket. The price of gold is soaring (over $5,000, apparently), and Pax Gold is going up with it. A 1:1 correlation, they say. It’s almost…predictable. And in this market, predictability is a luxury. It’s up 16% this year. It’s not going to make me rich, but it might prevent a complete financial meltdown.

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Any Possible Contrarian Plays? (Or Am I Just Deluding Myself?)

Of course, one could attempt a contrarian view. Hunt for beaten-down names capable of rebounding. Bitcoin, for example. It’s down 45% from its all-time high. Which feels…significant. But also terrifying. It feels like buying a slightly damaged antique. There’s potential, but also a high risk of regret. Still, if immediate upside is the goal, I’m cautiously optimistic about Hyperliquid and Pax Gold. They might just soar, regardless of what the broader market does. Or they might not. Honestly, who knows? Number of times I’ve checked my portfolio today: 17. Number of deep breaths taken: Approximately 400. I think I need a chocolate biscuit.

Will become disciplined long-term investor: Goal for March. Probably.

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2026-02-12 13:42