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One might suppose these heights are now beyond reach, a fortress too lofty for mortal ambition. But lo! Our author, a portfolio manager of ton and discernment, assures us the gates remain unbarred. The AI revolution, that court fool in technicolor, is still in its infancy. And here, the CEO and CFO of Nvidia, twin jesters in the court of shareholder dreams, parley in trillions and gigawatts. Their dialogues are but a vaudeville act: “Behold, 3 to 4 trillion dollars in AI infrastructure! We claim 58-70% of each!” Yes, how charming.

CFO Colette Kress’s Monetary Masquerade

“We are at the beginning of an industrial revolution,” she declares-her voice as grave as a funeral dirge. “By the end of the decade, 3 to 4 trillion dollars shall be squandered on AI!” Note the air quotes: $3 [trillion] to $4 trillion. A presumably conservative estimate. One imagines her audience nodding solemnly, not minding the ambiguity of a “decade”-whether 2029 or 2030. Trivialities, these!

CEO Jensen Huang’s Grandiloquent Gambit

“Out of a gigawatt AI factory, we represent about $35 billion!”

A factory costing $50 to $60 billion! And Nvidia claims nearly half of this machination of madness? Whether 58% or 70%, it is all a game of cabals and counters. The audacity is laughable-yet, the market bows to Goldman Sachs-like gravity.

Macroscope and Microscope: A Treasury of Calculations

Let us now pretend a portfolio manager fares like a bean-counter in some satirical farce. If global AI spending ascends to $3-4 trillion annually by 2030, and Nvidia’s share remains a deus ex machina of 46-56% (after a 20% concession to AMD’s shadowy threat), then annual AI infrastructure revenue shall abide in the $1.38 to $2.24 trillion range. A delightful arithmetic!

Stock Price Targets: A Mathematical Mummery

With a closing price of $183.22 in October-and assuming Nvidia’s valuation remains as steadfast as a kleptomaniac at a bakery-our calculations yield a best-case range of $1,942 to $3,115, a base-case of $1,300 to $2,125. Note the “assumption” of unchanging valuations, which is to say: ignore the mundane reality of presentable growth ratios and pretend optimism is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Auto Platform: The Punchline?

If the Auto platform’s driverless chariots, those rolling woolly blankets with a penchant for 18th-century manners, progress beyond their current state of pretense, one might adjudge the entire calculation insufficient. Yet let us not lose ourselves in this subplot; it is but a coloratura flourish upon a grand divertissement.

Epilogue: A Closing Curtain Call

Thus, with a beleaguered economy in the wings and a stock market as fickle as a jilted lover, we conclude our analysis with the assurance that Nvidia’s stock, whether in best-case outrage or base-case moderation, shall escalate in multiples so preposterous they might compel even the Bank of America to reconsider its algorithms. And should this madness culminate in a share price of $3,115, remember: a stock split shall be the final jest, for it is no more than a magician’s sleight of hand pastry-smaller in mouthful, no less absurd in the tale.

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Make no mistake, the grim reaper of finance had paid a visit, courtesy of one Bob Huang over at Morgan Stanley. He lowered the boom with a downgrade that sent shivers down the spine of the trading floor. Underweight? Holding on to a sinking ship called Progressive? He slashed the price target from a robust $265 to-well-$265. That’s not a typo; it’s the kind of circular reasoning you’d expect in a cheap novel, not a boardroom.

If you’ve ever tried to trim your portfolio like it’s a TED Talk on financial restraint, Manitou’s got a hot take for you. They sliced their Home Depot stake by 30,004 shares during Q3 2025, leaving them with 37,869 shares. Math check: That’s like cutting a slice of pie but keeping the plate. The average closing price made this transaction roughly $11.8 million in “I’ll just hold onto this for a sec” money.

A document, thick as a tax code and dull as a ledger entry, filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission revealed this act of financial sorcery. Cadinha, previously content to graze in the meadows of Berkshire Hathaway and Costco, now stakes its claim in the fortress of Goldman Sachs. The 19,125 shares-worth $15.2 million-constitute 2.1% of the fund’s reportable U.S. equity assets as of the autumnal equinox known as September 30.

Before the markets opened, WW International announced a collaboration with Amazon Pharmacy to sell its weight-loss meds. Let me translate corporate speak: They’re now selling their custom-made GLP-1 drugs through the world’s largest warehouse. It’s like if Weight Watchers opened a pop-up in every Amazon locker-except the product is “slimming” and the delivery is “overnight.”

The market’s exuberance stemmed from whispers of resolution in Congress and the U.S.-China trade tango. Investors, ever the optimists, treated these murmurs as a golden ticket, pouring back into growth stocks with the fervor of a man chasing a mirage in the desert. BlackSky’s leap has swollen its market cap to $948 million-a sum that could buy a small island, if one were so inclined.

Ryan Koontz of Needham, that scribe of Wall Street parables, etched his verdict in ink: $16 per share, a figure plucked from the ether but clung to with the tenacity of a drowning man. His “buy” recommendation, a lifeline thrown to investors, was less a forecast than a prayer. The analyst’s faith, he confessed, was built on presentations from Planet Labs’ investor day-a spectacle where management spoke of satellite contracts and swelling defense budgets, their words polished as a sailor’s brass buttons.

Here’s the kicker: investors are trading not because they trust the future, but because they fear the alternative. U.S. debt ceiling drama? Dampened. Government shutdown threats? Postponed. Trade wars with China? Temporarily tamed. Progress! Or as Vonnegut might say, “So it goes.” The market isn’t celebrating-it’s sighing in relief, like a lover avoiding a breakup.

Investors, those modern-day alchemists of risk and reward, moved as if guided by some unseen hand. The Ethereum token, once shackled by the weight of macroeconomic anxieties, found itself buoyed by the soft, almost imperceptible pull of hope. The Federal Reserve’s promise of another quarter-point cut, etched in the ledgers of expectation, became a talisman for cryptomancers seeking fortune in the blockchain’s ever-shifting tides.