Palantir: A Cash Machine (Maybe)

Right. So, the AI bubble. It’s a bit like that dress everyone was arguing about online – is it blue and black, or white and gold? Except instead of dresses, it’s stock prices, and instead of mild disagreement, it’s potentially losing your entire life savings. Honestly, the stress is considerable. I’ve been trying to be sensible, you see. Diversify. Long-term investments. But then you see things like SoundHound AI, plummeting faster than my attempts at a healthy breakfast, and you start to question everything. Down over 50% since October? It’s enough to make you want to just put everything in savings accounts and buy a cat. But cats don’t offer dividends, do they?

Anyway. There’s this other company. Palantir. It sounds terribly dramatic, doesn’t it? Like something out of a fantasy novel. Which, actually, it kind of is. Named after those seeing stones in Lord of the Rings. Apparently, they’re supposed to help you see the future. Or, in Palantir’s case, help the U.S. military figure out where everything is. Which, in the current climate, is probably quite useful.

I’ve been digging through the numbers, and it’s…intriguing. They’ve landed a contract with the Army that could be worth up to $10 billion. Ten billion. That’s a lot of seeing stones. And the Marine Corps just signed on too. No one’s saying exactly how much that deal is worth, but let’s just say it’s probably not small potatoes. I’ve made a little list, just to keep track:

Potential Army Contract: Up to $10 billion
Marine Corps Deal: Amount undisclosed (but likely substantial)
UK Deal: $1 billion over five years
Hours Spent Worrying About Geopolitical Risk: Uncountable

It’s all a bit… opaque, isn’t it? What exactly do they do? They claim their software helps streamline battlefield intelligence. Apparently, it can cut submarine schedule planning from 160 hours to ten minutes. Ten minutes! I can barely decide what to have for lunch in ten minutes. And they’ve also helped a naval shipyard cut material review times from weeks to under an hour. Efficiency! It’s almost… unsettling. It’s like they’re solving actual problems, instead of just making pretty apps.

And the numbers. Oh, the numbers. Revenue up 70% year-over-year. U.S. revenue up 93%. Commercial revenue up 137%. It’s all very impressive. I’ve started to suspect they might actually be good at this whole business thing. Which is a bit alarming. I was rather hoping to find a company that was failing spectacularly, so I could feel superior. But no. They’re succeeding. It’s deeply frustrating.

They also have a commercial AI platform called AIP, which is apparently gaining traction with companies like Lowe’s and Lockheed Martin. Lowe’s! I’m picturing AI-powered power tools and self-stocking shelves. It’s a bit dystopian, honestly.

And the cash position. They have $7.2 billion in cash and short-term securities. And only $229.3 million in debt. It’s like they’re swimming in money. I, on the other hand, am currently rationing oat milk. There’s a distinct imbalance here.

So, is Palantir a good investment? Honestly, I have no idea. The whole AI thing feels incredibly volatile. But they are landing major government contracts, and their numbers are impressive. And they do seem to have a product that actually works. Which, in this market, feels like a minor miracle. I’m adding it to the “potentially sensible” pile, which, at this point, contains approximately three companies.

Units of Cryptocurrency Lost: 12. Hours Spent Watching Charts: 9. Number of Panicked Texts to Friends: 24. Must… remain… disciplined… long-term… investor…

2026-02-12 02:45

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