Lawmakers, always one step behind (or so they’d like us to think), are now calling for a more modest version of the plan. Some even argue that the digital euro is simply duplicating what the market’s already doing. Meanwhile, the EU’s crypto regulations? Oh, they might accidentally help out the good ol’ U.S. of A. in the process. Can’t make this stuff up, folks.
The rules? Oh, they’re as strict as a Canadian winter. ❄️ Companies issuing stablecoins will have to play by the book: protect users’ money, safeguard personal information, and pass national security checks. Redemption policies will be clearer than a mountain lake, ensuring you can always swap your coins for cold, hard cash. 🏦 According to the budget report, the Bank of Canada will be the ringmaster of this circus, managing the system and handling its funding. They’ll stash away $10 million over two years, starting in 2026-2027, to get the ball rolling. After that, stablecoin issuers will foot the bill with annual fees of about $5 million. 💼
The slide, a tragicomedy of misplaced confidence, marks a new act in Bitcoin’s ongoing correction. Traders, once buoyed by optimism, now squirm like ants under a magnifying glass.
Announced on Tuesday, my dears, this transaction is set to plump up Canaan’s balance sheet like a well-fed goose, reducing its reliance on those tiresome at-the-market (ATM) capital raises. Under the deal, these savvy investors snapped up 63.7 million American depositary shares-Canaan’s Class A stock, no less-at a mere $1.13 each. A registered direct offering, of course. How très chic! 🥂
As reported by U.Today, Ripple has secured a staggering $500 million from Fortress Investment Group, Pantera Capital, Galaxy Digital, and other “major names.” One can only imagine the champagne flowing like a waterfall at their next board meeting. 🥂
This token has crashed the top 100 cryptocurrencies like it’s a party it wasn’t invited to, with its market cap now strutting past $500 million. And it’s doing all this while the rest of the crypto market is sulking in the corner, nursing its wounds. ZKsync, meanwhile, is over here like, “Downturn? I barely know her!” 😎
A filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission-document number 4,723,901 in the endless saga of human avarice-revealed that Gimbal Financial had, sometime between sips of overpriced bourbon and muttered prayers to the algorithm gods, amassed this position during Q3. By September 30, the ETF had become the firm’s second-largest holding, valued at $17.59 million. One might call it a “strategic allocation.” A cynic would call it buying a lottery ticket and calling it a business plan.
Bitcoin struggles to recoup losses that sparked multimonth lows under $100,000-because who needs confidence when you can have chaos? 🐳💸
A spot of news from Lookonchain, that clever on-chain data aggregation platform, confirms the ruckus was kicked off by some jolly large sell-offs. It seems the big fish-or should I say, whales-have been shifting their considerable stacks of Bitcoin into exchanges, cashing in their chips like it’s a high-stakes game of bridge. 🏦🐳
So, what’s the tea? 🍵 Cactus Custody is bringing its Off-Exchange Settlement (OES) solution, aka Cactus Oasis, to KuCoin’s platform. Fancy, right? This means institutional bigwigs can trade on KuCoin’s spot, margin, options, and perpetual futures markets without pre-funding their wallets. Basically, your assets stay snug in Cactus Custody’s regulated vault until the deal’s done. No more leaving your purse unattended at the bar! 🕶️
