So, artificial intelligence, huh? Everyone’s chasing the shiny object. They say it’s going to change the world. Listen, I’ve seen a lot of “world-changing” technologies come and go. Remember Betamax? No? Exactly. But Morgan Stanley, those esteemed number-crunchers, are saying AI could account for 20% of economic growth next year. Twenty percent! That’s enough to make even me consider not retiring to a tropical island… for a little while, anyway. They’re probably right, which means the suckers… I mean, investors… are going to pile in. So, let’s find a couple that might actually pan out, shall we? Because frankly, I need a new yacht.
Microsoft
Microsoft. Yes, that Microsoft. The one that used to crash every five minutes. They’ve managed to stay alive, and now they’re betting big on AI. Some analysts are worried about their spending. Spending! Like a company that makes billions shouldn’t invest in the future? Please. They’re quietly positioning themselves for AI domination. They’re throwing $77 billion – that’s seventy-seven billion dollars – at data centers, software, and chips. It’s like they’re building a fortress… against obsolescence, or maybe just boredom.
And it’s working! Microsoft 365 Copilot, which sounds like something out of a bad sci-fi movie, saw a 160% jump in paid seats last quarter. People are actually paying extra for AI features. Can you believe it? It’s like they’re saying, “Take my money, and make my spreadsheets slightly less soul-crushing!”
Their CEO, Satya Nadella, says their “total addressable market” will grow. Oh, it’ll grow alright. It always does. It’s the fundamental law of capitalism. The market always finds a way to take your money. The stock is reasonably valued, sitting at a forward P/E of 25, and analysts expect 14% growth. Not bad. Not bad at all. Though I’m still holding out for a 100% return. A man can dream, can’t he?
Nvidia
Nvidia. Now these guys are interesting. While Microsoft is writing the software, Nvidia is providing the muscle. They make the GPUs – the graphics processing units – that actually do the AI stuff. They’ve been the GPU kings for 20 years. Twenty years! That’s like a century in tech time. It’s a lucrative position to be in when everyone suddenly needs super-powered chips.
There are only two major GPU suppliers. Two! That’s practically a monopoly. And Nvidia is taking full advantage, charging whatever they want. It’s beautiful. They also generated $77 billion in free cash flow – same as Microsoft – but they’re growing much faster. Revenue surged 62% last quarter. Sixty-two percent! I’m starting to think I should have become a chip designer.
Their secret? Innovation. They’re constantly inventing new stuff. They’re now offering complete AI systems – miniature supercomputers, they call them – for those hyperscalers. It’s like they’re building a digital empire. And their upcoming Rubin platform promises even more cost savings. Savings! For them, maybe. But it’s good marketing. The stock is at a forward P/E of 24. A steal, frankly. Analysts are predicting 37% growth. Thirty-seven percent! I’m already picking out the champagne.
So, there you have it. Two AI stocks that might actually make you some money. Just remember, I’m a cynic. Don’t blame me if your portfolio ends up looking like a medieval battlefield. And if it does, at least you’ll have a good story to tell.
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2026-02-08 23:42