Tesla: It’s Just…A Lot.

So, Tesla. Everybody’s got an opinion. And the stock? It’s… fine. Up 3,300% in a decade. Which is… a number. It’s just, the whole thing feels… precarious. Like a really expensive Jenga tower built on a handshake. People are throwing money at it, and I’m sitting here thinking, what exactly are they buying? Hope? A future where cars drive themselves and robots do your laundry? It’s a lot to ask, frankly.

This Elon Musk… he’s got people believing things. Believing in promises of robotaxis and… Optimus? Seriously, Optimus? It’s like he’s selling a lifestyle, not a car company. And people are lining up for it. It’s deeply unsettling. You’d think, after a while, someone would ask a reasonable question. Like, “What if the robot doesn’t fold the fitted sheet correctly?” It’s the little things, you know?

They talk about valuation. A price-to-earnings ratio of 375? That’s not a ratio, that’s a dare. It’s like saying, “We’re so confident in our future, we’re going to pretend the present doesn’t exist.” And then you compare it to Toyota. Toyota! They actually make cars. Reliable, boring cars. And they’re worth… less. It’s just… illogical.

The thing is, this isn’t about earnings. It’s about narrative. It’s about believing in the story. They’re not investing in a car company; they’re investing in a… a feeling. A feeling that everything is going to be… automated and perfect. And I’m just waiting for the inevitable glitch. The robot uprising. Or, more realistically, a software update that bricks all the cars. It’s going to happen. It always does.

They’re rolling out robotaxis in Austin and the Bay Area. Great. So, fewer parking spaces and more opportunities for self-driving cars to get stuck in traffic. And then there’s Optimus Gen 3. A robot that’s supposed to do… what exactly? Vacuum? Mow the lawn? I’m picturing it tripping over the garden hose and causing a flood. And who’s responsible then? Tesla? The robot? It’s a legal nightmare waiting to happen.

And did you see their financials? Automotive revenue down 10%? Net income down 46%? They’re selling fewer cars, making less money, and the stock is… still going up? It defies explanation. It’s like they’re rewarding inefficiency. It’s infuriating. I mean, what is even the point of making a profit if you can just… believe harder?

Look, I get it. People want to believe in something. They want a future that’s shiny and new. But this isn’t investing; it’s faith. It’s like joining a cult, except instead of Kool-Aid, it’s stock options. And the leader is promising you a self-folding laundry robot. It’s just… a lot. A lot of pressure on that robot, frankly. And a lot of risk for anyone who’s actually looking at the numbers.

Of course, if everything goes right, if the robotaxis are flawless and Optimus Gen 3 actually learns to fold a fitted sheet, then maybe, just maybe, it’ll all be worth it. But let’s be realistic. It won’t. There will be glitches. There will be lawsuits. And there will be a lot of very disappointed investors. It’s inevitable. It’s just… a matter of time.

2026-02-08 06:22

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