Tether’s $500B Dream Dims as $5B Plan Emerges

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It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a company in possession of a vast fortune, must be in want of a substantial raise. Yet Tether, that paragon of stability, has found itself in a most peculiar predicament, as its grand design to amass $20 billion has been scaled down to a mere $5 billion-a reduction that would make even the most frugal of ladies blush.

  • It has been reported that Tether’s ambitious target has been curtailed, with the new figure being as modest as $5 billion, a sum that would scarcely suffice for a fortnight’s worth of tea and scones.
  • Mr. Ardoino, the esteemed CEO, has opined that the lofty $15-$20 billion figure was but a maximum threshold, a notion that strikes one as both prudent and rather unadventurous.

Mr. Ardoino, in a moment of candor, dismissed the rumored raise as a “misconception,” a term that might well describe the entire affair. “That number is not our goal,” he declared, “but our maximum we were ready to sell.” One might wonder if the term “ready to sell” implies a certain eagerness, or merely a reluctance to be outdone by competitors.

Yet, as the Financial Times notes, Tether’s advisors, those venerable figures of Cantor Fitzgerald, have floated the idea of a mere $5 billion, a sum that has evidently met with the disfavor of prospective investors, who, one imagines, are as fickle as the stock market itself.

Reports of Tether’s grand plans first surfaced in September, when whispers of a multibillion-dollar fundraising round began to circulate. At the time, it was said that the company was in early discussions with a select group of high-profile investors, a practice that, one might surmise, is as common as a country ball in Hertfordshire.

According to the FT, Mr. Ardoino claims that Tether has received “a lot of interest” at the $500 billion valuation, though the company remains undecided on how much equity to sell, for some insiders, it seems, are as reluctant to part with their stakes as a maiden with a dowry.

The momentum behind the raise, it is said, was bolstered by recent regulatory clarity, a development that has brought much relief to the anxious hearts of financiers. Yet, despite this, some investors remain cautious, their fears as persistent as a London fog.

Mr. Ardoino, ever the optimist, has assured us that Tether has demonstrated “the depth” of its compliance infrastructure, a claim that may or may not be true, but which is certainly more palatable than the alternative.

Tether Navigates Headwinds in 2025

Alas, Tether’s profits have declined in 2025, a fact attributed by Mr. Ardoino to Bitcoin’s underperformance, a phenomenon as perplexing as a man’s inability to dance. S&P Global Ratings, ever the arbiter of financial virtue, has downgraded Tether’s reserves to its weakest tier, citing increased exposure to high-risk assets-a decision that would surely have the company’s shareholders in a state of high dudgeon.

Nevertheless, Tether’s flagship product, USDT, continues to dominate the stablecoin market, its market cap a staggering $185 billion, a figure that would make even the most modest of fortunes blush. In the meantime, Tether has continued to bolster its gold holdings, which, according to Mr. Ardoino, have yielded between $8 billion and $10 billion during the precious metal’s recent rally-a sum that, one suspects, has been met with much glee by the company’s board.

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2026-02-04 11:45