FuboTV: A Streaming Saga (and My Portfolio’s Woes)

Right. So, FuboTV. It’s been a bit of a week, financially speaking. Shares sank 22% yesterday. Twenty-two percent! It’s enough to make one reconsider all life choices, really. Especially the one involving “investing in disruptive streaming technologies.” I mean, it sounded good at the time.

Apparently, they’re planning a share reduction. Not a nice, sensible, “we’re doing well, let’s give everyone more shares” reduction. Oh no. This is the opposite. A reverse split. Which, if you’re not fluent in financial jargon (and honestly, who truly is?), means fewer shares, potentially a higher price per share, and a general air of… desperation? It feels like financial rearranging of deckchairs on the Titanic, doesn’t it?

They did have a bit of good news, actually. Revenue climbed 40% year-on-year to $1.5 billion in their latest quarter. And they’ve struck a deal with Disney, integrating Hulu + Live TV. Which, on paper, sounds brilliant. Synergies! Optimization! A more flexible streaming ecosystem! It all sounds so… corporate. David Gandler, their CEO, said it would drive “sustainable growth.” I’m starting to suspect “sustainable” is just a buzzword designed to soothe anxious investors like me.

They did report a loss, of course. $19.1 million. But, and this is the important bit, it’s an improvement on last year’s loss of $38.6 million. It’s like saying you’re still losing weight, but at a slightly slower rate. Progress, I suppose. Though my bank balance remains unconvinced.

Units of Cryptocurrency Lost: 12. Hours Spent Watching Charts: 9. Number of Panicked Texts to Friends: 24. It’s a full-time job, this investing business. A stressful, emotionally draining, full-time job.

Going in Reverse (and Feeling a Bit Sick)

So, this reverse stock split. It’s a bit like… well, imagine you have ten slices of pizza. You can either divide them amongst more people (a forward split, which sounds lovely), or you can take some slices away and give the remaining ones to fewer people (a reverse split, which feels… ominous). The total amount of pizza remains the same, but the optics are… different.

Apparently, investors don’t like it when companies do this. They prefer more shares, even if they’re worth less individually. It feels… optimistic. A reverse split, on the other hand, feels like an admission of defeat. Like saying, “Things aren’t going great, but we’re trying to look busy.”

And traders, those cynical, all-knowing creatures, see it as a bad sign. Forward splits usually happen when a company is doing well. Reverse splits usually happen when a company is… not. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, really. The market smells weakness, and the stock price goes down. It’s enough to make one consider a career change. Perhaps alpaca farming. They seem relatively stable.

I’ve made a list. A list of things I will do differently. 1. Stop reading financial news before breakfast. 2. Stop believing everything CEOs say. 3. Start a dedicated “panic fund” for moments like these. 4. Seriously consider alpaca farming.

2026-02-04 00:42

Going in Reverse (and Feeling a Bit Sick)

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