Vanguard’s Quiet Accumulation

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It is said, and with a certain tiresome frequency by gentlemen of limited imagination, that one need not perform miracles to achieve a respectable prosperity. A sentiment as bland as lukewarm tea. Yet, the truth, as always, is considerably more… convoluted. The accumulation of wealth, you see, is not a matter of extraordinary feats, but of a relentless, almost pathological, attention to the utterly mundane. And, of course, a healthy disregard for the suffering of others – though one need not state that last part aloud.

Vanguard, that most peculiar of financial institutions, has, through a series of quiet maneuvers and an almost unsettling commitment to low fees, managed to assemble a rather impressive hoard. Not through brilliance, mind you – brilliance is far too flashy – but through a sort of… systemic inertia. It is as if the very foundations of the market are subtly shifting to benefit this peculiar entity. And so, we examine three of their offerings – not as beacons of hope, but as curious specimens in the grand menagerie of capital.

A Trio of Vessels

Let us not pretend these are unique. Dozens of similar funds exist, each vying for the attention of the easily swayed. But these, for reasons we shall endeavor to dissect, warrant a closer inspection. Consider them not as pathways to riches, but as… containers. Vessels for the inevitable flow of money.

  • Vanguard Total Stock Market ETF (VTI 0.06%): This, the largest of the lot, is a sort of… everything fund. It holds a little bit of everything, like a magpie’s nest. The expense ratio is, of course, ludicrously low – a mere trifle. As the market, that unpredictable beast, rises and falls, so too will this fund. It is, in essence, a mirror reflecting the collective madness of investors.
  • Vanguard Dividend Appreciation ETF (VIG 0.24%): Ah, dividends. The sweet nectar of capitalism. This fund focuses on companies that consistently increase their payouts, as if attempting to appease some ancient financial deity. Top holdings include Broadcom (AVGO +0.27%) and Microsoft (MSFT +0.51%) – companies that, shall we say, possess a certain… ambition. It is a curious thing, this obsession with future income, as if one could somehow guarantee tomorrow.
  • Vanguard International High Dividend Yield ETF (VYMI 0.56%): International exposure, they say, is a good thing. Diversification, they murmur. But let us be honest: it is merely a search for cheaper spoils. This fund holds stocks from across the globe, many of which are trading at a discount – a discount, one suspects, that reflects a certain… instability. Nestle (NSRGY 1.79%) and Toyota (TM 2.33%) feature prominently – familiar names, yes, but also symbols of a world increasingly obsessed with brands and… efficiency.

The Illusion of Returns

Now, to the matter of returns. A treacherous subject, fraught with false promises and misleading statistics. But let us indulge, for a moment, in this particular folly. Consider the following:

  • Vanguard Total Stock Market (since May 2001): 9.21% annualized
  • Vanguard Dividend Appreciation (since April 2006): 9.99% annualized
  • Vanguard International High Dividend Yield (Since Feb. 2016): 10.61% annualized

Averaging just under 10% per year, they claim. A respectable sum, certainly. Enough, they say, to amass a million dollars after 30 years with a mere $500 monthly investment. But let us not mistake averages for guarantees. The market, as any seasoned observer knows, is a fickle mistress. It can bestow riches one day and snatch them away the next. To believe in consistent returns is to succumb to a dangerous delusion. It is to imagine order where there is only chaos. Still, the numbers are… persuasive. And in the grand scheme of things, persuasion is all that truly matters.

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2026-01-29 16:22