Dividend Dynamos: Two Stocks Aiming for the Trillion-Dollar Funny Farm

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Alright, settle in, folks! We’re talking dividends today. Not the kind you get from Aunt Mildred’s questionable fruitcake, but the kind that could turn your portfolio into a real laugh riot. There are zillions of stocks that say they pay dividends. Most of ’em are about as exciting as watching paint dry…or listening to a broker explain short selling. But a select few? They’re generous with the payouts, even when the world’s gone completely bananas. That’s the kind of stock we want, isn’t it? We’re going to take a look at two companies that might just join the trillion-dollar club in the next seven years: Visa (V +0.25%) and Johnson & Johnson (JNJ +1.12%). And believe me, if they can pull it off, maybe I can finally afford that solid gold monocle.

1. Visa: The Plastic Fantastic!

Visa. Now there’s a name that conjures images of…well, spending money. Which, let’s be honest, is the American pastime. They won’t even need seven years to hit a trillion, I suspect. Currently sitting at a respectable $623 billion, they’d only need a compound annual growth rate of 7%. That’s practically a stroll in the park for a company that essentially controls the world’s plastic. Visa isn’t just a payment processor; they’re the gatekeepers of consumerism! They take a tiny slice of every swipe, tap, and online purchase. It’s a beautiful, ruthless business. Like a very polite, financially savvy pirate.

Billions of cards in circulation, trillions in transaction volume…it’s a veritable ocean of cash flowing through their system. Consistent revenue, earnings, and free-cash-flow growth? You betcha! It’s so predictable, I could set my watch to it. (Though I prefer a good cuckoo clock, personally.)

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And they share the wealth! Since going public in 2008, they’ve been steadily increasing their dividend payouts. Every. Single. Year. That’s a record even I can appreciate. And why should it continue? Well, let’s see. Their payout ratio is a ridiculously conservative 24%. They could practically build a solid gold swimming pool with the leftover cash. And the world is moving away from cash. E-commerce is booming. People are buying things they don’t need with money they don’t have! It’s a perfect storm for Visa. A glorious, capitalist frenzy!

2. Johnson & Johnson: The Band-Aid Billionaires

Now, Johnson & Johnson. A company that’s been around since before sliced bread, I swear. They’re currently at $530 billion, meaning they need a 9.5% CAGR to hit the trillion-dollar mark. A bit more ambitious, but perfectly achievable. They’ve been doing some serious spring cleaning in recent years, shedding their slower-growing consumer health division, doubling down on innovative pharmaceuticals, and expanding their medtech unit. It’s like watching a phoenix rise from the ashes…or a really determined surgeon performing a complicated operation.

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We’re still in the early stages of this transformation, folks. They’re cooking up a slew of new products, and that should boost revenue and profits, even with a few patent expirations looming. And get this: they’re getting into robotic-assisted surgery with their Ottava device! It’s like something out of a sci-fi movie…except it’s real, and it’s potentially very lucrative. Finally, and this is a big one, they’re a Dividend King! That means they’ve been increasing their dividend payouts for at least 50 consecutive years. 50 years! That’s longer than some of you have been alive! Their payout ratio is a reasonable 46.59%, giving them plenty of room to keep the good times rolling. So, there you have it. Two companies with the potential to join the trillion-dollar club. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with a very large pile of dividend statements.

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2026-01-28 21:12