Markets
What to Know:
- Strive (ASST) managed to conjure up $225 million out of thin air-sorry, oversubscribed preferred stock offering. Apparently, investors couldn’t resist the siren call of Silicon Valley’s latest magic trick.
- In an epic act of financial spring cleaning, the company scrubbed away $110 million of Semler Scientific’s vintage debt, leaving only the faint ghost of $10 million lingering-hopefully with fewer pests this time.
- Meanwhile, in a move that screams “HODL,” Strive beefed up its bitcoin stash by adding 333.89 coins, bringing the grand total to nearly 13,132 BTC-more zeros than a banker’s nightmare-and worth over $1.1 billion, assuming Bitcoin keeps behaving like a caffeinated squirrel.
Our hero, Bitcoin treasury company Strive (ASST), emerges victorious from its latest fundraising escapade, boasting less debt and a wallet as fat as a banker’s bristle moustache, thanks to a hefty $225 million infusion.
This windfall, which received over 600 million reasons to smile (that’s the order volume, not the money-though the two are often confused in Wall Street fairy tales), was initially slated for a modest $150 million but was so popular that it went oversize faster than a politician’s promises.
The proceeds helped Strive toss out a significant chunk of Semler’s debt-$110 million, to be precise-including a cocktail of convertible notes and a Coinbase credit line, all paid off faster than you can say “Ponzi scheme.”
As a result, every last satoshi of Strive’s bitcoin holdings are now as free as a bird in the latest libertarian fantasy, with plans to retire the remaining $10 million of debt by April 2026-because who needs a clear timeline when you can have a crystal ball?
In a move worthy of a high-stakes poker game, Strive purchased an additional 333.89 Bitcoin at an enviable average price of $89,851, vaulting into the top ten public holders worldwide. These digital treasures are now worth more than the combined GDP of some tiny countries-over $1.1 billion at Bitcoin’s current flirtatious price of $89,100.
Meanwhile, ASST’s stock continues its dance of despair, down 1.5% early Wednesday to a modest $0.81, perhaps contemplating whether all that Bitcoin magic will keep the dream alive-or just give investors yet another reason to question their life choices.
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2026-01-28 18:44