Nikki Glaser Spills the Craziest Jokes Cut From Her Golden Globes Monologue — Yes, She Almost Took Shots at Sydney Sweeney and Leonardo DiCaprio

by

Nikki Glaser shared on “The Howard Stern Show” that she removed some jokes from her Golden Globes monologue. She explained that these cut jokes were politically focused, referencing topics like ICE and Donald Trump. Glaser said she deliberately avoided political humor because she didn’t think it would be funny.

Glaser cut a joke that played on the similarity between ‘ice’ and the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency. She had planned to say something about the bar running out of ice, then add, ‘We don’t really need ice, and actually, I hate ice.’ However, she felt even that was too lighthearted and struggled to find the right balance for her material.

The warning followed an incident in Minneapolis where ICE agent Jonathan Ross shot and killed Renee Good, which led to protests across the country. At the Golden Globes, several celebrities – including Mark Ruffalo, Natasha Lyonne, and Wanda Sykes – showed their support for Good by wearing pins with the messages “Ice Out” and “Be Good.”

A joke that didn’t make the final cut referenced renaming the Beverly Hilton as the “Trump Beverly Hilton,” a nod to the recent controversy surrounding the Trump Kennedy Center. Comedian Hannah Gadsby explained, “You just don’t say that guy’s name right now. I just want to give it space.” She also mentioned that Steve Martin originally suggested the joke, but later encouraged her to steer clear of political humor.

I have to admit, Sarah Glazer wasn’t afraid to poke fun at her own network during her opening monologue. She delivered a pretty sharp line about CBS News, joking that they deserved an award for… well, let’s just say ‘B.S. news.’ It was a clear reference to that recent, controversial story about the U.S. deporting people to a prison in El Salvador, and it definitely got a reaction from the audience.

Glaser also shared a wide range of other jokes that didn’t make the final cut:

Chase Infiniti is up for best actress tonight, and that’s actually her name! Plus, if you sign up now, you can get 5% cash back on all your travel booked through her for the rest of the year. Don’t miss out!

Okay, so this is… unusual. I just saw a claim circulating that the actress Chase Infiniti Payne’s full name is, well, Chase Infiniti Payne – which is already public knowledge. But the way it was presented… it bizarrely linked her name to a rather graphic and frankly unnecessary detail about Sean Penn. It’s a strange and inappropriate connection, and honestly, feels like a desperate attempt at shock value. It adds absolutely nothing to any discussion about her work.

“Some people have stage names like ‘Hacks’ star Jean Smart, whose real name is Corderoy Dumba**.”

Brad Pitt is up for an award tonight for his performance in ‘F1’. It’s funny how Hollywood works – a man at 60 gets to play a racecar driver, but women over 35 are usually only offered roles as unhappy mothers. Brad, you were incredibly convincing – I almost believed you’d actually been a driver for decades! I heard you did a lot of the driving yourself in the movie, which is impressive. Though, Brad, no offense, but it looked like your turn signal was on the entire time!

Tonight should be a celebration, but it’s hard to ignore the challenges Hollywood is facing right now. People aren’t going to the movies like they used to. As an example, a recent film starring Sydney Sweeney, which received a lot of attention for its content, barely made any money – only $14, believe it or not.

There’s a lot of discussion about the risks of AI, and a recent case highlights those concerns. Tilly Norwood, the first celebrity created entirely by artificial intelligence, has reportedly been sexually assaulted by three studio executives.

“Sean Penn is nominated tonight, I’m assuming for best neck veins?”

Sean Penn, Benicio del Toro, and Leonardo DiCaprio are all here to present the award for Least Amount of Sleep. And speaking of Leo, why do you always squint? Is it to check your girlfriend’s ID? Just making sure she’s of age!

“Amy Poehler is here for her podcast ‘Good Hang,’ which is what Timothée Chalamet says after s**.”

Someone mentioned Julia Roberts is up for an award for a movie called ‘After The Hunt.’ I haven’t heard of it, but I guess it must be pretty obscure if nobody seems to know what it’s about!

Jonathan Bailey has made history as the first openly gay man to be named People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive. I initially wondered if it was necessary to mention his sexual orientation, but then I realized, looking at previous winners, that it absolutely is a significant milestone worth noting.

Jeff Goldblum is with us tonight, and it’s a funny story how he got here. They were filming an Apartments.com commercial nearby, and he basically just stopped by! It’s amusing to see him doing an ad for Apartments.com, especially considering he played a fly in a famous movie – he hasn’t lived in an apartment since then, that’s for sure.

“‘Pluribus’ is nominated. Did you guys know that ‘Pluribus’ is Latin for ‘I haven’t seen it’?”

The jokes Taylor Glaser didn’t use show how much she pushed boundaries with her comedy. These cut bits were often biting, provocative, and used satire to showcase her fearless and original style of humor.

Read More

2026-01-14 18:16