Morgan Stanley’s Crypto Gambit: Solana, Bitcoin, and the Perils of SHIB’s Zero Erasure 🚀💸

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Morgan Stanley Files for Solana ETF, Because Why Not? 🤷♂️

The universe is a cruel joke, and Morgan Stanley is now the punchline. The investment bank, in a move that could either be genius or madness, has filed for a Solana ETF. Because nothing says “financial stability” like trusting your savings to a blockchain that sounds like a disco. 🕺

  • Solana ETF. Morgan Stanley, the bank that once gave us the phrase “don’t panic,” has filed for a Solana ETF. The fund will track SOL’s performance, which is about as stable as a penguin on a trampoline. 🐧_trampoline

The Trust will use third-party custodians to hold SOL. Nothing says “trust” like outsourcing your assets to someone else’s vault. 🏦

  • Bitcoin ETF. Morgan Stanley also filed for a Bitcoin ETF, joining BlackRock and others in a game of crypto musical chairs. The first one to crash wins… probably. 🎯

Staking rewards will accrete to the fund’s NAV. Or, as we like to call it, “financial alchemy.” 🧪

SHIB Briefly Erases a Zero, Then Fails to Remember It 🐶💥

Shiba Inu (SHIB) briefly erased a zero from its price, which is impressive if you’re a fan of decimal points and existential dread. But don’t get too excited-it’s like winning a race only to realize you were running on a treadmill. 🐕💨

  • Price Surge. SHIB surged to $0.00001, then promptly forgot how to stay there. The 100-day EMA, that mystical line on a chart, was briefly breached before the market whispered, “Nice try, crypto bro.” 📉

The rally was driven by buying pressure, which is just a fancy way of saying “people who forgot what they’re doing.” For weeks, the EMA had been a barrier, like a moat around a castle made of memes. 🏰

Bollinger Warns XRP: You’re a Firework, Not a House 🎆🔥

John Bollinger, the market technician who’s seen it all, has a word of advice: “Don’t confuse a rocket ship for a sustainable economy.” XRP’s recent surge might look flashy, but it’s more like a fireworks display-bright, loud, and over in a few seconds. 🎆

  • Bearish Setup. Bollinger urged caution, noting XRP’s pattern is weaker than Bitcoin’s. Because nothing says “long-term success” like a technical formation that looks like a frowny face. 😟

XRP soared 32% in January, which is impressive until you realize it’s still just a token. Pseudonymous analyst “Dom” called it a “strong lift,” but Bollinger countered with, “Pattern is weaker.” Translation: “This is a meme, not a mortgage.” 🏠

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2026-01-08 00:53