In an almost divine act of legislative synchronicity, two Senators, Elissa Slotkin and Jerry Moran-a pair as disparate as chalk and cheese-have scribed their names into the annals of financial warfare against the marauding crypto scoundrels, much to the chagrin of these miscreants.
The Strengthening Agency Frameworks for Enforcement of Cryptocurrency (SAFE) Act, crafted and delivered by these noble guardians, stands ready to marshal the forces of the US Treasury, law enforcement, regulators, and private sector players into a unified front against crypto fraud and deception.
“With this task force established by the SAFE Cryptocurrency Act, we shall harness every resource at our behest to combat the dubious dealings in digital assets,” proclaimed Slotkin with verve. Moran, not to be overshadowed, chimed in with equal fervor:
“As cryptocurrency infiltrates the mainstream, this legislation shall guard against threats and assure protection from slick crypto scams for every American.”
Meanwhile, a staggering $9.3 billion in crypto-related investment deceit was reported by the Federal Bureau of Investigation in 2024, a 66% increase over the previous year. The elderly over 60, those seasoned warriors of asset accumulation, bore the brunt with $2.84 billion gone.
It’s worth recalling, somewhat humorously or tragically, that these figures are loosely related to crypto, similar to how a heartbeat typifies a vampire. Yet, digital deceptions persist with alarming sophistication.
Gabriel Shapiro, the judicially inclined gadfly of crypto investment at Delphi Labs, postulated that a rigorous implementation of the SAFE Crypto Act might ignite a near-psychotic dread among crypto criminals. In his tongue-in-cheek musing on X, Shapiro prognosticated, “Scammers might just soil their shorts once this plan gains momentum,” given the calibre of officials including the attorney general, Financial Crimes Enforcement Network, and the Secret Service who shall be hunting them down.
Shapiro extolled the virtues of the SAFE Crypto Act, suggesting it could serve as a beacon of enforcement not currently championed by securities and commodity regulators preoccupied elsewhere.
TRM Labs Joins the League of Extraordinary Analysts
TRM Labs, a bastion of blockchain forensics and collaboration, is eager to raid the hidden lairs of these digital delinquents. Ari Redbord, their vice president and policy maestro, stated:
“It’s in the realm of harmony between industry and law enforcement that we might cut the strings guiding ill intent in exploiting technological marvels for malice.”
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2025-12-17 07:44