Ladies, gentlemen, and those who still believe in free pancakes! A new prediction market, Probable, ascends upon BNB Chain, where the only thing you’ll pay is your therapist for trusting crypto again.
PancakeSwap, the DEX king, and YZi Labs, the venture court jester, have conspired to unveil their latest folly: a platform promising zero fees. “No hidden charges!” they cry, as if we’ve forgotten the last 10,000 scams. 🤡
A Frictionless Forecast Platform
Behold, Probable! A marketplace where you may wager on crypto prices, sports, and “niche regional events” (read: your neighbor’s cat’s presidency). All settlements occur on-chain, because nothing says “trust” like code and caffeine. 💻
“Probable delivers true zero-fee predictions,” the team declared, with the confidence of someone who’s never seen a rug pull. “No platform fees, no hidden charges.” (Says the fox guarding the henhouse.)
To participate, deposit assets-any assets!-which the system will kindly convert to USDT. Because nothing says “simplicity” like trusting an algorithm to not steal your life savings. 🤷
“Prediction markets should be simple, transparent, and open to everyone,” they insisted, while secretly hiding a 10% cut in the smart contract’s line 666. “Probable is built to make on-chain predictions faster, easier, and more accessible.” (Translation: faster to lose money.)
Their Oracle? UMA’s Optimistic Oracle, which, despite its name, is 98% code and 2% optimism. CZ, the BNB Chain’s bard, chimed in, probably to remind us he’s still relevant. 🎭
The Growing Race to Predict the Future
Probable joins a circus of platforms vying to predict the future. Kalshi, Polymarket, and even Trump’s Truth Social now dabble in this chaos. “Multi-deca-billion dollar industry!” exclaims Crypto.com’s CEO, as if it’s not already a tragedy. 🤡
So, dear reader, whether you bet on crypto, politics, or your ex’s next move, Probable promises to make it all… probable. Just don’t forget to laugh-and weep-while you do. 😂
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2025-12-17 03:05