When Bitcoin Gets as Big as a Gigantic Giggling Gorilla! 🤡💸

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Once upon a time in the curious land of finance, there was a fellow named Michael Saylor – part-time hero, full-time Bitcoin enthusiast, and all-around wizard of the wallet. One day, he announced he’d scooped up a mountain of 650,000 shiny Bitcoin coins, enough to make even the most stubborn piggy bank squeal with delight. Yes, dear reader, that’s enough Bitcoin to make a tiny army of digital dragons drool! 🐉💰

But wait! That wasn’t all. Mr. Saylor, always the clever fox, decided to sprinkle some extra magic dust. He set up a colossal stash of US dollars – a cool $1.44 billion – just sitting there, ready to fry a big ol’ steak of dividends and pay off debts as smoothly as butter melting on a hot pancake. His plan? To have enough dough for at least a whole year’s worth of singing and dancing payments… and then some! Because why settle for just a year when you can aim for two? 🎯🤑

“Establishing a USD Reserve to complement our BTC Reserve marks the next step in our evolution,” said Mr. Saylor, who probably dreams of digital dollar unicorns and glittering Bitcoin castles. “We believe this will help us dodge market hiccups while shouting our vision – to be the world’s top digital credit issuer. Quite fancy, eh?”

Meanwhile, our hero was busy adding more shiny bits to his treasure trove – a cool 130 BTC, purchased for nearly $12 million at a princely $89,960 each. That’s right! His treasure now weighs in at a staggering 650,000 Bitcoin, which is enough to cover about 3.1% of the entire Bitcoin universe. Just a tiny, insignificant fraction of the digital cosmos. 🌌✨

Strategy has gobbled up 130 BTC for about $11.7 million at nearly $90k each. As of November 30, 2025, he’s hoarding $48.38 billion worth of Bitcoin at an average of $74,436 a piece. Talk about a serious digital hoard! $MSTR, $STRC, $STRK – all in the club, waving the Bitcoin flags high!

– Michael Saylor (@saylor) December 1, 2025

But hold on! Just as our hero was dusting off his digital crown, the crypto markets decided to throw a little tantrum. Yesterday, Bitcoin was flying high above $91,000, then – like a mischievous puppy – it tumbled down to $85,500. Today’s rollercoaster ride has left the coins bouncing between $84,500 and $86,000, as if they’re playing a game of hide and seek with traders. Who knew digital money loved a good splash of chaos? 🎢🙃

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2025-12-01 16:32