\n
Upbit, a South Korean crypto exchange, got robbed AND fame – on the same day they were trying to charm Naver. Coincidence? Pfft. Hackers came for a coffee AND a heist ☕✨.
\n
Hackers drained 54 billion KRW ($36 million) from Solana assets, targeting SOL, USDC, BONK, and various “meme-or-DiFi-coins-I-don’t-trust-anyway.” Funds vanished like my motivation on a Monday 😬. Upbit hit pause on Solana deposits/withdrawals, because obviously, they needed to fix a “security leak” asap – cue dramatic music 🎻💥.
\n
Emergency Plan: Cry, Mop, Blame the Hot Wallet
\n
Upbit’s got 24/7 crisis management? Nope. They “promptly halted” Solana services and started an “emergency inspection.” Imagine that’s just someone opening a ticket titled “🔥 FIRE IN THE SERVER ROOM 🧯.”
\n
Stolen tokens? All of Solana’s vibe: SOL, USDC, JUP, RAY – the usual suspects. Hackers hit the “hot wallet of doom,” which is just a fancy term for “money here, rainbow there.” 🌈💸
\n
Upbit released urgent updates over two days, because nothing says “competence” like posting, “We fixed it… maybe… here’s a 404 page.”
\n
Security experts whispered praises of Upbit’s “swift measures,” which probably means they hit Ctrl+Z and prayed. Forensic teams are now “investigating” – code for “we’ll blame North Korea and maybe Netflix it later.” 🕵️♀️📺
\n
The Big Sale: Wedding Crashers Edition
\n
Just as Dunamu and Naver were about to announce their grand Web3 union – 10 trillion won to “revolutionize AI and crypto!” – hackers RSVP’d with a “bring cash” note. 💰💥 54 billion KRW loss? That’s a 💀 on the marriage proposal.
\n
Upbit insists they’ll cover the losses. Because nothing says “trust us” like a CEO waving a pile of cash yelling, “100% customer-focused! (unless we’re stealing your cash!)”
\n
Upbit: Hackers’ Favorite Comeback Kid
\n
In 2019, hackers stole 342,000 ETH – a $50 million loss that now reads like a joke ($1.04 billion today!). In 2025, North Korea’s beloved hackers (Lazarus & Andariel) returned, laundering 43% of Ethereum through 51 exchanges across 13 countries. Because obviously, everyone loves a villain with a global footprint 🌐💔.
\n
In 2024, Swiss courts kindly returned 4.8 BTC. The rest? “Refusing to cooperate,” aka, “keep my stolen cash, we’re cool.” 🤷♀️
\n
Upbit, a South Korean crypto exchange, got robbed AND fame – on the same day they were trying to charm Naver. Coincidence? Pfft. Hackers came for a coffee AND a heist ☕✨.
Hackers drained 54 billion KRW ($36 million) from Solana assets, targeting SOL, USDC, BONK, and various “meme-or-DiFi-coins-I-don’t-trust-anyway.” Funds vanished like my motivation on a Monday 😬. Upbit hit pause on Solana deposits/withdrawals, because obviously, they needed to fix a “security leak” asap – cue dramatic music 🎻💥.
Emergency Plan: Cry, Mop, Blame the Hot Wallet
Upbit’s got 24/7 crisis management? Nope. They “promptly halted” Solana services and started an “emergency inspection.” Imagine that’s just someone opening a ticket titled “🔥 FIRE IN THE SERVER ROOM 🧯.”
Stolen tokens? All of Solana’s vibe: SOL, USDC, JUP, RAY – the usual suspects. Hackers hit the “hot wallet of doom,” which is just a fancy term for “money here, rainbow there.” 🌈💸
Upbit released urgent updates over two days, because nothing says “competence” like posting, “We fixed it… maybe… here’s a 404 page.”
Security experts whispered praises of Upbit’s “swift measures,” which probably means they hit Ctrl+Z and prayed. Forensic teams are now “investigating” – code for “we’ll blame North Korea and maybe Netflix it later.” 🕵️♀️📺
The Big Sale: Wedding Crashers Edition
Just as Dunamu and Naver were about to announce their grand Web3 union – 10 trillion won to “revolutionize AI and crypto!” – hackers RSVP’d with a “bring cash” note. 💰💥 54 billion KRW loss? That’s a 💀 on the marriage proposal.
Upbit insists they’ll cover the losses. Because nothing says “trust us” like a CEO waving a pile of cash yelling, “100% customer-focused! (unless we’re stealing your cash!)”
Upbit: Hackers’ Favorite Comeback Kid
In 2019, hackers stole 342,000 ETH – a $50 million loss that now reads like a joke ($1.04 billion today!). In 2025, North Korea’s beloved hackers (Lazarus & Andariel) returned, laundering 43% of Ethereum through 51 exchanges across 13 countries. Because obviously, everyone loves a villain with a global footprint 🌐💔.
In 2024, Swiss courts kindly returned 4.8 BTC. The rest? “Refusing to cooperate,” aka, “keep my stolen cash, we’re cool.” 🤷♀️
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2025-11-27 08:28