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Ah, Bitcoin miners. Always chasing the next glittering thing. Now they fancy themselves as architects of the artificial mind! One might almost believe they\’ve discovered a way to turn digital dust into… well, something even more digital. JPMorgan, ever the discerning observer, has taken notice of this curious shift from merely verifying transactions to attempting to think for machines. A bold undertaking, to be sure. 🙄
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- JPMorgan, with a flick of the wrist, has lowered expectations for some, deeming their shares perhaps… a tad optimistic.
- These mining enterprises, it seems, are rather liberal with the creation of new shares – a habit not conducive to long-term investor contentment.
- Cipher and CleanSpark appear to be playing things cautiously, a rare display of fiscal restraint in this exuberant field.
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It appears these erstwhile diggers of the digital earth are now attempting to cater to the insatiable hunger of Artificial Intelligence for computational power. A noble ambition, no doubt, though one wonders if they truly understand what they’re getting into. Wall Street, as one might expect, finds this spectacle amusingly profitable.
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JPMorgan, in a missive dispatched on the twenty-fourth of November – a date that will surely be recorded in the annals of technological and financial history – saw fit to elevate the fortunes of Cipher Mining and CleanSpark, declaring them, with a level of enthusiasm usually reserved for prize-winning livestock, to be “Overweight.” They\’ve even adjusted their pronouncements on the value of Cipher, raising it from twelve to eighteen. CleanSpark, meanwhile, remains at a respectable fourteen – though one suspects even they are secretly hoping for more. 😇
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The reason for this sudden shift in sentiment? Why, it’s the miners’ yearning to be more than mere servers for Bitcoin. Cipher Mining, with the grand ambition of a Roman emperor, intends to erect an infrastructure reaching 1.7 GW by 2026, primarily to serve the whims of these nascent digital intellects. CleanSpark, not to be outdone, has expanded its Texan domain with a sizable 200 MW, likewise dedicated to the pursuit of Artificial Intelligence.
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But Beware: The Illusions of Progress
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However, let us not descend into unbridled optimism. JPMorgan, in its wisdom, perceives shadows lurking amidst the gleam of AI. The most insidious of these? The relentless dilution of shareholder value. It would seem that these miners, in their pursuit of computational supremacy, are rather prone to raising funds through the creation of additional shares, a maneuver which, while beneficial to the companies themselves, is rarely appreciated by those who originally invested. 🤨
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The analysts point out a curious discrepancy: the market seems… unaware of the extent of this share proliferation.
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“Our calculations suggest that the true number of shares outstanding is, on average, 20% to 33% higher than what is currently reported,” the report states, with a tone implying that someone, somewhere, is being rather optimistic with their accounting practices. “This may indicate that these firms are… overvalued.”
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And so, as a consequence of this looming threat of shareholder dilution, the outlook for Marathon Digital has been tempered, lowered from twenty to thirteen, and Riot Platforms has experienced a similar downturn, sliding from nineteen to seventeen. A cautionary tale, surely, for those who chase the ephemeral promises of technological innovation. 🤷
\n
Ah, Bitcoin miners. Always chasing the next glittering thing. Now they fancy themselves as architects of the artificial mind! One might almost believe they’ve discovered a way to turn digital dust into… well, something even more digital. JPMorgan, ever the discerning observer, has taken notice of this curious shift from merely verifying transactions to attempting to think for machines. A bold undertaking, to be sure. 🙄
- JPMorgan, with a flick of the wrist, has lowered expectations for some, deeming their shares perhaps… a tad optimistic.
- These mining enterprises, it seems, are rather liberal with the creation of new shares – a habit not conducive to long-term investor contentment.
- Cipher and CleanSpark appear to be playing things cautiously, a rare display of fiscal restraint in this exuberant field.
It appears these erstwhile diggers of the digital earth are now attempting to cater to the insatiable hunger of Artificial Intelligence for computational power. A noble ambition, no doubt, though one wonders if they truly understand what they’re getting into. Wall Street, as one might expect, finds this spectacle amusingly profitable.
JPMorgan, in a missive dispatched on the twenty-fourth of November – a date that will surely be recorded in the annals of technological and financial history – saw fit to elevate the fortunes of Cipher Mining and CleanSpark, declaring them, with a level of enthusiasm usually reserved for prize-winning livestock, to be “Overweight.” They’ve even adjusted their pronouncements on the value of Cipher, raising it from twelve to eighteen. CleanSpark, meanwhile, remains at a respectable fourteen – though one suspects even they are secretly hoping for more. 😇
The reason for this sudden shift in sentiment? Why, it’s the miners’ yearning to be more than mere servers for Bitcoin. Cipher Mining, with the grand ambition of a Roman emperor, intends to erect an infrastructure reaching 1.7 GW by 2026, primarily to serve the whims of these nascent digital intellects. CleanSpark, not to be outdone, has expanded its Texan domain with a sizable 200 MW, likewise dedicated to the pursuit of Artificial Intelligence.
But Beware: The Illusions of Progress
However, let us not descend into unbridled optimism. JPMorgan, in its wisdom, perceives shadows lurking amidst the gleam of AI. The most insidious of these? The relentless dilution of shareholder value. It would seem that these miners, in their pursuit of computational supremacy, are rather prone to raising funds through the creation of additional shares, a maneuver which, while beneficial to the companies themselves, is rarely appreciated by those who originally invested. 🤨
The analysts point out a curious discrepancy: the market seems… unaware of the extent of this share proliferation.
“Our calculations suggest that the true number of shares outstanding is, on average, 20% to 33% higher than what is currently reported,” the report states, with a tone implying that someone, somewhere, is being rather optimistic with their accounting practices. “This may indicate that these firms are… overvalued.”
And so, as a consequence of this looming threat of shareholder dilution, the outlook for Marathon Digital has been tempered, lowered from twenty to thirteen, and Riot Platforms has experienced a similar downturn, sliding from nineteen to seventeen. A cautionary tale, surely, for those who chase the ephemeral promises of technological innovation. 🤷
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2025-11-25 03:29