I’ve always believed that true adulthood begins when you stop panicking every time you check your bank account. Or maybe that’s just my mother’s definition. Either way, Vanguard ETFs have become my financial version of a warm bathrobe-reassuring, slightly scratchy, and capable of keeping out the existential chill of market volatility. Here are three that might help you survive (and possibly thrive) until the day someone finally remembers your name.
Vanguard High Dividend Yield ETF
The Vanguard High Dividend Yield ETF (VYM) is the financial equivalent of a neighbor who prunes their hedges with surgical precision and leaves you a jar of homemade pickles. It tracks high-yield dividend stocks, excluding REITs, which is a mercy if you’ve ever tried to explain what a REIT is to a family member who nods like they understand but is really thinking about their ex. With a 2.5% yield, it’s a gentle nudge toward passive income, though I’ve learned not to get too attached to any dividend-paying company that hasn’t existed since the days of vinyl records and rotary phones.
Take ExxonMobil, one of VYM’s top holdings. It’s like the octogenarian at the family reunion who still drives a stick shift and insists on giving life advice. Its 3.5% yield and 42-year dividend streak are impressive, but I’m equally fascinated by its 2030 plan to boost earnings by $20 billion. That’s enough cash to buy my entire family new smartphones-or at least the one that still uses a flip phone and asks, “What’s a ‘cloud’?”
VYM is the kind of fund that makes you feel like you’re in on the secret, even if the secret is just that some companies will never learn to stop using paper checks.
Vanguard Real Estate ETF
The Vanguard Real Estate ETF (VNQ) is for those of us who romanticize owning property but lack the patience to deal with tenants who leave hairdryers in the bathtub. It holds REITs, which are like the quiet, reliable friend who always shows up with a six-pack and a list of expenses. With a 3.5% yield, it’s a reminder that real estate can be profitable if you ignore the fact that your cousin once tried to rent out his garage and now lives in a van down by the river.
Prologis, one of VNQ’s stars, is the REIT version of a yoga instructor who somehow manages to build a warehouse empire. Its 3.3% yield and 13% annual dividend growth rate are enviable, but I’m more impressed by its ability to capitalize on the “robust and growing demand for warehouse space.” Nothing says “future-proof” like a company that thrives on the chaos of e-commerce returns and my inability to fold a shirt without creating wrinkles.
Investing in REITs is like hiring a professional to manage your worst childhood memories. You never want to go back, but you’re glad someone else is handling it.
Vanguard Total Bond Market ETF
The Vanguard Total Bond Market ETF (BND) is the financial equivalent of a well-worn recliner-uninspiring but indispensable. It offers exposure to 11,400 bonds, which is either impressive or a cry for help depending on how you feel about spreadsheets. With a 4.1% yield, it’s the kind of income that makes you feel secure enough to finally stop saving every receipt from your local bodega.
Most of BND’s holdings are government-backed, which is comforting in a way that makes you want to call your parents and ask if they’ve maxed out their retirement accounts. The fund’s diversified maturity dates are like having a team of financial planners who all agree on the importance of not putting all your eggs in one basket-or in one overly optimistic cryptocurrency.
BND’s income will fluctuate with interest rates, which is a polite way of saying it’s subject to the whims of people who wear bow ties and make decisions you’ll never understand. But over time, it should provide the kind of steady income that lets you sleep through the night, assuming your cat doesn’t decide to redecorate your living room at 3 a.m.
A Great Vanguard Trio for Generating Passive Income
VYM, VNQ, and BND form a triumvirate of financial stability, much like the three-course meal your grandmother insists is the only way to eat. Together, they offer a mix of dividend income, real estate yields, and bond interest. They’re not flashy, but they’re reliable-like a friend who never texts you during movie scenes or a stock that never crashes during your annual checkup.
I’ve learned that investing is less about getting rich quickly and more about avoiding the humiliation of explaining to your kids why you still live in your childhood home. These three ETFs might not make you a billionaire, but they’ll help you sleep better at night-assuming you’ve already fixed the leak in the kitchen sink.
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2025-10-21 03:19