Okay, so apparently a bunch of companies – like, 48 of them in just three months, which, let’s be real, is a lot of meetings about digital money – are now stashing Bitcoin on their balance sheets. Analysts are saying it’s a sign “large players are doubling down.” Which, translated from Analyst-Speak, means they’re not running away screaming yet. Progress!
Bitwise, a crypto asset manager which sounds like a fancy brain training program, says 172 companies are now holding the stuff. That’s… a lot of spreadsheets. The total value of all this corporate Bitcoin is now $117 billion, which is more than the GDP of Liechtenstein. I checked. 🇱🇮
Bitwise’s CEO, Hunter Horsley, tweeted something about people wanting to own Bitcoin, and… companies too. Groundbreaking stuff, Hunter. Truly. 🙄
Large corporations still want BTC
An analyst at Australian cryptocurrency exchange BTC Markets, Rachael Lucas, declared this “doubling down” situation. Sounds intense. Like a high-stakes poker game, but with… digital tokens. Apparently, Michael Saylor’s Strategy is hoarding the most – 640,250 tokens! That’s more Bitcoin than I have hot takes. And I have a LOT of hot takes.
Lucas thinks the regulatory clarity is improving. Which is great. I mean, regulations are good, right? Unless you’re a rogue AI plotting world domination, in which case, ignore that.
“This participation helps legitimize crypto as a mainstream asset class and lays the foundation for broader financial innovation, from Bitcoin-backed loans to new derivatives markets.”
Supply is being sucked up, so when’s the bull run?
The price is being, shall we say, “volatile”. Which is crypto’s polite way of saying “all over the place”. Corporations are quietly buying it up, apparently to avoid… drama? Like a secret stash of emergency funds for when the zombie apocalypse hits. Which, let’s face it, is a legitimate concern in 2025.
Another expert dude, Edward Carroll, says all this buying will eventually cause a price hike. Which is what experts always say, right before things go… sideways. But hey, optimism is nice! ☀️
Apparently, companies are buying more Bitcoin each day than miners are making. That’s like having a Roomba that can’t keep up with the crumbs. (My life, basically.)
Crypto becoming mature
And get this – Bitcoin ETFs are a thing now. Meaning your grandma can potentially invest in Bitcoin through her brokerage account. Which… is simultaneously terrifying and hilarious. 🎉
Inflows are up $2.71 billion in a week. That’s a lot of zeroes. It’s maturing, we’re told. It’s becoming “legitimate.” Which is good. Because what’s more legitimate than an imaginary, decentralized currency? 🤔
“What we’re witnessing is a maturing market. Crypto is evolving from a speculative playground into a legitimate asset class with institutional-grade participation.”
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2025-10-15 09:17