Brace Yourself: The Universe’s Slightly Confused Prediction of an Epic Market Meltdown 🚀💥

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So apparently, Friday’s grand spectacle of chaos-where stocks and cryptocurrencies somersaulted into the abyss-was just the appetizer. The main course, according to Robert Kiyosaki, author of that charming little book, “Rich Dad, Poor Dad,” might just be the global financial equivalent of a giant, slow-moving cat sneezing on your savings account. 🎩💸

In an exclusive weekend revelation, Kiyosaki painted a picture so grim it makes Halloween look like a carnival. He suggests that Baby Boomers’ retirement funds are about to be turned into digital dust-a catastrophe so epic it could make the fall of the Roman Empire look like a minor pancake accident.

The Coming Catastrophe: Is It Near or Just in a Hurry?

Remember that gem from his “Rich Dad’s Prophecy”? Yeah, that one. Turns out, Kiyosaki believes the biggest crash in history is sneaking up on us faster than a cat on a laser pointer, possibly in the next few months. You might say, if he’s right, it’s less of a forecast and more of an inevitable cosmic joke with us as the punchline.

Meanwhile, crypto had a tantrum, throwing a fit worthy of a toddler. Bitcoin tumbled around $20,000 faster than you can say “HODL,” while many altcoins experienced severe version of “oops, all gone” with losses up to 90%. All this chaos happened amidst a record-breaking $19 billion liquidation spree, just after President Trump (yes, he’s back, kind of like a very loud ghost) slapped tariffs on Chinese goods, adding a dash of global spicy chaos.

Kiyosaki, ever the sage, continues to advocate for sticking money into “real assets” because apparently, savers are the winners in some twisted game. His current favorites? Gold, silver, Bitcoin, and Ethereum-the financial equivalent of refusing to believe in a giant asteroid until it’s crashing into your house.

“Today, I believe silver and Ethereum are the best because they are stores of value…but more importantly…used in industry…and prices are low. Please study pros and cons and usefulness of silver and Ethereum…from haters and lovers of silver and Ethereum…and then invest with your own financial wisdom.”

The Stock Market: Still a Thing?

While pushing the idea of gold, silver, BTC, and ETH as the mystical protectors of wealth, Kiyosaki has been shaking his psychic crystal ball at the US stock market, calling it a candidate for major doom. Even Warren Buffett, who’s basically the gold standard of investing, apparently has suddenly decided to stockpile shiny metals instead of his usual stocks, making everyone wonder if the old sage sees the same cosmic joke.

“Even though Buffett shit on gold and silver investors like me for years, his sickening endorsement of gold and silver must mean stocks and bonds are about to crash,” he quipped, probably while giggling nervously into his coffee.

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2025-10-12 19:29