In the grand alchemical laboratory of modern finance, where silicon replaces philosopher’s stones and venture capitalists don the robes of new-age wizards, we find ourselves amidst a peculiar transmutation. Enterprises once content with scribbling AI runes on parchment margins now erect grand towers of practical application, their treasuries flowing like molten gold into infrastructure, security, and applications¹. The magic circle’s focus shifts from the Three Wise Men of Chips™ to those weaving practical enchantments in the mortal realm.
October, that most auspicious month when the Veil Between Budgets² thins, brings with it earnings revelations and the sacred locking of purses for 2026. Behold three companies whose spellsheets might charm a dividend hunter’s heart: CoreWeave (CRWV), the GPU cloud conjurer challenging the Hyperscaling Trinity; Nebius (NBIS), a dark horse now hitched to Microsoft’s comet; and SoundHound AI (SOUN), whose voice-activated charms finally find mortal patrons.
A brief codex of these three modern thaumaturges:
1. The Counter-Spell to Hyperscaling
CoreWeave hath ascended from humble pixies of GPU clouds to become a force that makes Amazon, Microsoft, and Alphabet pause their eternal game of “Who Can Summon the Most Servers.” In the waning moon of September, they inked a $6.5 billion augmentation to their OpenAI pact, bringing 2025’s promised gold to $22.4 billion. Meta, ever hungry for computational sustenance, added a $14.2 billion feast stretching to 2031³.
With $37 billion in binding scrolls, this upstart dedicates itself wholly to the art of AI infrastructure – unlike the Hyperscaling Trinity who treat GPUs as but one trinket in their infinite treasure chests. That OpenAI and Meta both kneel at this altar speaks volumes about the scarcity of magical crystals these days. Multiyear contracts provide revenue visibility sharper than a crystal scryer’s orb.
Yet dangers loom: capital demands heavier than dragon’s hoard, expansion at speeds that’d make a time mage dizzy, and reliance on a handful of titanic patrons. Still, demand for alternatives to the Trinity has crowned CoreWeave king of the AI infrastructure market – at least until the next great disruption.
2. From Golem Dust to Microsoft’s Right Hand
Nebius performed the oldest alchemical trick of all: transforming leaden obscurity into golden partnership with Microsoft. Their $17.4 billion pact (expandable to $19.4 billion) to supply GPU capacity turned them overnight from footnote to frontispiece in the AI grimoire.
They claim to brew GPU compute potions 20-25% cheaper than traditional warlocks, thanks to “optimized data center elixirs” and “power efficiency runes.” Should they scale to Microsoft’s specs or snare another leviathan client, Wall Street’s valuation could shift faster than a werewolf at midsummer. The Microsoft deal alone builds a valuation bridge to growth peers – though execution risks loom like trolls under every bridge.
3. The Bard of Bits and Bytes
SoundHound AI composes the ballads that power our age. Their quarterly revenue sang a 217% crescendo to $42.7 million in Q2 2025, with automotive minstrels Hyundai, Mercedes-Benz, and Stellantis embedding their melodies in millions of carriages. Even Chipotle and White Castle tap their drive-through incantations to automate orders.
Recurring fees and subscriptions provide revenue visibility once deployments take root, though profitability remains a distant mirage. Their $74.7 million GAAP loss might alarm bean-counters, but at $6+ billion valuation, investors sing their praises as a mid-cap AI bard. With growth rates holding steady, analysts predict operating leverage improvements might bring them to breakeven within two years – making them a leading independent player in conversational magic.
¹Wherein we define “alchemy” as “whatever makes quarterly reports glow brighter”
²A temporal rift where fiscal years collide, causing budgets to crystallize
³Meta’s contract duration: longer than some marriages, shorter than the reign of King Friday XIII
May your portfolio bear fruit and your dividends flow like the Ankh’s waters 🏛️
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2025-10-03 00:14