SEC’s Crypto Custodian Chaos: Buy These Dogs Before They Bite! 🐶😡

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Okay, so up until now, only the big-shot custodians-like banks, broker-dealers, or those fancy OCC-chartered national banks-qualified under the Investment Advisers Act of 1940 and the Investment Company Act of 1940. Yeah, real geniuses making those rules, right? Meanwhile, crypto custodians? They’re out here playing solitaire on a busted computer. If advisors dared to use state-trust companies, boom-they’re risking an SEC smackdown. Talk about clarity? More like a foggy mess that had institutional investors running for the hills. No wonder crypto’s stuck in neutral. Lazy regulators, am I right? 🙄

This left crypto custodians with very limited options, and if advisors relied on state-trust companies, they had to bear the risk of SEC enforcement. This lack of clarity made many institutional investors hesitant, which has been stifling crypto growth so far.

However, this no-action letter is a welcome move that eliminates the ‘guessing game’ and should benefit fund shareholders and advisory clients in the long run.

Read on as we dig deeper into the SEC’s attempt at providing more crypto clarity. We’ll also suggest the best cryptos to buy now to benefit from this shift.

Conditions to Be Met

Unlike existing custodian options, state-trust companies are regulated at the state level and not federally. However, the committee has also imposed certain conditions that must be fulfilled if advisors want to use state-trust companies as custodians. Oh, great, more hoops to jump through. Because who doesn’t love bureaucracy? 😒

  • Fund managers must run detailed due diligence to confirm whether the company is authorized by the state regulator and has written internal policies covering areas such as cybersecurity and theft protection. Yeah, let’s just add another layer of paperwork to the pile.
  • Issuers must review GAAP-based annual audited financial statements and internal control reports from independent auditors. Accountants are gonna love this-more coffee runs required!
  • Assets under custody must be segregated from the trust company’s own assets, with restrictions on lending, pledging, or re-hypothecation without written consent. Segregated? Like, they don’t get to play mix-and-match with your money? Finally, a rule that makes sense… maybe.

James Seyffart, an ETF analyst, applauded the move, saying this was the kind of step the industry had needed for years. Oh, really? And who’s paying his salary while he pats himself on the back?

Crypto trader Marty Party, with 235k followers on X, also called the decision a huge plus for crypto custodians, predicting that many new players could enter the custodian segment in the coming years. 235k followers? Sounds like a guy who posts cat memes and calls it trading. 😂

Crypto custody has long been the most stubborn regulatory bottleneck for wider institutional adoption. Bottleneck? Try traffic jam in rush hour on a broken unicycle.

Now, with things starting to change, it’ll be easier for hedge funds and registered advisors to hold crypto legally. More custodians will also foster greater competition, leading to healthier crypto markets. Healthier markets? Ha, that’s code for more ways to lose your shirt legally.

This makes it the perfect time to stack your crypto portfolio with explode-worthy tokens. If you’re looking for ideas, here are the top 3 altcoins to watch right now. Explode-worthy? Hope you’re wearing protective gear.

1. Snorter Token ($SNORT) – Telegram Trading Bot That Snipes Meme Coins & Protects You from Scams

Snorter Token ($SNORT) is the altcoin you need to grab if you want to ride the growth of the Snorter Telegram bot. This new trading bot simplifies meme coin trading for small market participants. Because nothing says “smart investing” like chasing memes with a bot. You know how I botched my last investment? Yeah, same idea. 🤦‍♂️

  • Snorter allows you to place buy/sell, limit, and stop orders directly within the Telegram bot. Direct from your chat app? Revolutionary or lazy? I’m going with lazy.
  • Then, as soon as liquidity becomes available in a particular meme coin, it executes your transactions at lightning speed. Lightning speed? Sounds like it’ll execute your bad decisions even faster.
  • This puts you on par with large institutional investors who often use automated algorithms to swipe liquidity. Swiping liquidity-like stealing candy from a baby, but in crypto.

The Snorter bot also protects you from rug pulls, honeypots, and MEV attacks. Maximal Extractable Value (MEV) refers to the profit malicious actors can earn by front-running (placing an order before yours) or back-running (placing an order after yours) to profit at your expense. MEV-resistant? Please, someone’s always front-running-it’s like cutting the line at Starbucks. ☕😤

Snorter’s MEV-resistant layers solve this problem by sending your transaction privately to validators instead of the public mempool, where it can be viewed by potential attackers. In addition, your trade is bundled with other transactions, making it difficult for attackers to spot your order and engage in malicious reordering. Bundled? Like a bad blind date-try to escape, but you’re stuck.

The $SNORT presale has already garnered $4.1M, with each token currently priced at $0.1065. Here’s how to buy $SNORT. $4.1M? Peanuts compared to what CryptoScam Coin raked in last year.

According to our $SNORT price prediction, the token could hit $1.07 by the end of this year, delivering a 900% ROI. 900%? And if I’m wrong, blame the charts. 📈 Or Larry.

Visit Snorter Token’s official website to learn more. (Spoiler: It probably looks slick but delivers zero.)

2. Best Wallet Token ($BEST) – New Non-Custodial Wallet That Helps You Spot the Best Presales Early

Best Wallet Token ($BEST) is the native cryptocurrency of Best Wallet – a decentralized, non-custodial, multi-chain crypto wallet that delivers equal parts security and ease of use. Non-custodial? Hope you remember where you put those keys-lose ’em, and it’s adios crypto. I once lost my keys… well, you get it. 🗝️

Its most striking feature? Best Wallet acts as a direct gateway between you and the best crypto presales through its ‘Upcoming Tokens’ section. Usually, other wallets require you to visit an external presale website and then connect your wallet to complete the process. Direct gateway? Saves time for more important things, like complaining.

However, Best Wallet saves you the time, effort, and money – by protecting you from potential phishing sites – allowing you to buy tokens directly within the app. Phishing protection? In a world of scams, this better be bulletproof-or at least Kevlar.

Buying $BEST also gives you early access to these presales, letting you spot potential multibaggers before the wider market jumps on the hype bus. Multibaggers? Multigrifters, more like. But hey, early access sounds cooler than “first in line to lose money.”

All of this happens securely, too, as the Best Wallet app uses cutting-edge encryption technology to keep your funds safe. You also have the option of enabling two-factor authentication, including biometrics, for an added layer of protection. Cutting-edge encryption? Let’s see if it survives my cat walking on the keyboard. 🐱

Lastly, since it’s a non-custodial crypto wallet, only you have access to the private keys, so you don’t have to rely on any third-party provider for security. Only you? Perfect for when paranoia strikes at 3 AM.

Currently in presale, Best Wallet Token has already raised over $16.2M. 1 $BEST is available for just $0.025725, with a potential 460% return by year-end – according to our $BEST price prediction – if you get in now. 460%? And if not, well, better luck next time, sucker. 😏

Check out Best Wallet Token’s official website to learn more about its benefits. Benefits? You’ll have to discover them yourself-I’m too busy ranting.

3. Bertram The Pomeranian ($BERT) – A Philanthropist Meme Coin Meant for Dog Welfare

Bertram The Pomeranian ($BERT) is a Solana meme coin that goes beyond the usual hype of character-driven tokens. Philanthropy-inspired? Like donating to a dog shelter while your portfolio goes to the pound? Touching, really. 🐕

$BERT is, in fact, a philanthropy-inspired project, based on a Pomeranian dog influencer with millions of followers, and is focused on supporting the welfare of dogs and dog shelters around the world. The project has already donated 5 tons of dog food to date. 5 tons? That’s a lot of kibble-better than my diet, I guess.

It’s also tied to Wolfhub.com – an AI-powered platform that offers NFC-enabled dog collars, real-time adoption alerts, and lost pet tracking assistance. AI for dogs? Soon it’ll know more about your pup than you do.

Starting September 29, the platform also launched staking for both $BERT tokens and NFTs, with flexible lock periods and APRs ranging from 5% to 12%. Staking? Lock it up and hope it doesn’t run away.

$BERT has surged about 21% in the last 7 trading days and is currently trading around $0.07937, with a market cap of $76.73M. Surged 21%? Impressive, unless it’s all hype and no bite.

The token is now just 12% away from a strong resistance at $0.0889. If broken, the token could rally another 45% to reach $0.129. Rally? Like a Pomeranian chasing its tail-fun, but going nowhere.

Recap: With the SEC finally opening the door for state-trust crypto custodians, now’s the perfect time to load up on low-priced, high-upside altcoins like Snorter Token ($SNORT), Best Wallet Token ($BEST), and Bertram The Pomeranian ($BERT). Load up? Just don’t come crying to me when it crashes. 💸🙃

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2025-10-01 16:33