Bitcoin, Bricks & SPY: A Grumpy Trader’s Guide to Not Being Broke

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Peter Brandt, a man who’s been trading since dinosaurs roamed the markets (or at least since flared trousers were fashionable), has decided to bestow his wisdom upon Generation Z – you know, those young whippersnappers who think “hodl” is a real word. 🧓💸

His grand strategy? Put 10% in Bitcoin (“because magic internet money is the future, apparently”), 20% in real estate (“bricks and mortar, the original NFTs”), and 70% in SPY stocks (“or as I like to call them, ‘the grown-up section’ of your portfolio”).

Bitcoin: The Hedge Against Everything (Except Common Sense)

Brandt reckons Bitcoin is the financial equivalent of garlic against vampires – it wards off inflation, market panic, and apparently bad haircuts. He’s been banging this drum for years, which either makes him a visionary or someone who really hates central banks. Probably both.

“Bitcoin is the asset that matters,” Brandt said, while presumably glaring at a pile of altcoins with the disdain usually reserved for telemarketers.

The man suggests allocating a sensible 10% to Bitcoin – enough to make you feel dangerously crypto-cool at parties, but not so much that you’ll end up living in a van down by the river when the next crash comes. The other 90%? That’s for boring people who like roofs over their heads and food in their bellies.

This message is for you Z gens who think that trading stocks/futures/crypto/FX is the answer for your financial future.

If you have fewer than three years of actual market speculation experience, the probability that you will average 50% per year during the next five years of…

– Peter Brandt (@PeterLBrandt) September 22, 2025

Translation: “Kids, put down the leverage and back away slowly from the trading app.”

Brandt’s Bitcoin Gospel: Less Moon, More Grown-Up

Peter Brandt – CEO, author, and professional eyebrow-raiser at questionable investment strategies – has been around the block more times than a lost Uber driver. His take on Bitcoin? It’s not your get-rich-quick scheme (despite what your cousin’s friend’s dog walker claims on TikTok).

In between writing books with titles longer than some altcoin whitepapers, Brandt has positioned Bitcoin as the Chuck Norris of assets – tough, reliable, and capable of roundhouse-kicking central bank nonsense. He told Investing.com it’s “a technological tool that empowers individuals,” which is trader-speak for “it really annoys the suits.”

As for altcoins? Brandt’s opinion can be summarized as: “Bitcoin good, other coins bad.” He’s about as enthusiastic about altcoins as cats are about bath time, once declaring that “Bitcoin will bury all pretenders” – a statement that probably caused several crypto bros to spill their artisanal kombucha.

The bottom line from this market Gandalf? Bitcoin’s wild early days are over. It’s now part of the financial furniture – less “to the moon!” and more “steady growth with occasional drama.” In other words, act your age, diversify properly, and for goodness sake stop checking the charts every five minutes. 📉👀

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2025-09-24 04:15