The clock ticks louder these days in Omaha. Warren Buffett’s exit from Berkshire Hathaway’s CEO throne in 2026 isn’t just a corporate shuffle-it’s the death rattle of an era. The man who turned stock-picking into witchcraft will still haunt the boardroom as chairman, but the magic? That dies when the wand’s handed off. Until then, though, we’re tagging along on the billionaire’s victory lap-a bloodbath of sell orders that’s been running hotter than a meth lab for 11 straight quarters.
Buffett’s Liquidation Carnival
Apple? Buffett’s been trimming that golden goose like a junkie shaving a fat joint since 2024. He cut 6.7% this quarter alone. Once, AAPL was half the damn portfolio-a tech love letter written in $200 billion increments. Now it’s just the biggest albatross around Berkshire’s neck. But hey, the Oracle’s been wrong before. Right?
Bank of America? Buffett’s dumping shares faster than a divorcée tossing wedding photos. 23 million shares vanished this quarter. And Charter Communications? He vaporized nearly HALF of that stake. DaVita, Formula One, T-Mobile-all tossed into the bonfire. The man’s not selling stocks; he’s exorcising demons.
The Acid Test: Apple’s Glitch in the Matrix
Here’s the rub: Apple’s Q2 numbers just CRACKED THE SKY OPEN. 10% revenue growth. 12% EPS surge. Services revenue? Touching the face of God. And that pesky DOJ case threatening Google’s $10B iPhone search deal? Poof. Gone. Like a bad acid flashback. Suddenly, Buffett’s selling looks less like genius and more like a senile tic.
Rumors of a foldable iPhone in ’26? Smart glasses? This isn’t a company-it’s a psychedelic time machine. Vision Pro flopped? So what? That thing cost more than a small island. When Apple drops its next circus act, the sheep’ll line up to trade their kidneys for a spot in line.
No-Brainer or Brain Fart?
Is AAPL a “no-brainer buy”? Let’s not get carried away. The P/E ratio’s jacked to 30.7. Product delays? A clusterfuck. But here’s the secret: Apple’s ecosystem isn’t a business-it’s a CULT. These people would follow Tim Cook into a volcano if he promised a free AirTag in the afterlife.
Will the foldables flop? Maybe. Will smart glasses save us all? Could go either way. But betting against Apple is like betting against gravity. Buffett knows it. The market knows it. Deep down, even the rats in the Hamptons know it. This stock’s not a buy-it’s a sacrament. 🍎
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2025-09-23 12:08