Bill Gurley’s Chocolate-Filled Tesla Surprise 🚗🍫

by

Bill Gurley, a man with a knack for sniffing out shiny new treasures in the murky swamp of venture capital, once plucked the seeds of Zillow, OpenTable, and Nextdoor from a puddle of skepticism. But his most celebrated trick? Planting a seed in the greedy, gluttonous giant that would grow into Uber Technologies. Back then, Uber was a flim-flam digital taxi service, yet Gurley saw it as a crocodile with a grin wide enough to swallow continents whole. “It’s not just a taxi,” he’d whisper, “it’s a platform for chaos, convenience, and a dash of mayhem.”

Now, many years later, Gurley has turned his gleaming eye toward Tesla, and the stock market trembles with the thrill of possibility. Or perhaps it’s just the sound of investors gnawing their nails into confetti. Either way, the old fox has something to say about Elon Musk’s electric menagerie.

Loading widget...

What Did the Chocolate-Filled Wizard Whisper About Tesla?

A few days ago, Gurley took to X (formerly Twitter) like a grumpy toad in a puddle of rain, squawking at the silly notion that Tesla’s valuation is a “bubble waiting to burst.” “Pah!” he declared. “Bubbles pop. Tesla’s a goose with a golden egg in its beak.”

Gurley, the sly old raven, then fluttered into the world of discounted cash flow (DCF) models, a financial kaleidoscope that turns future money into present-day confetti. But Tesla, he argued, is no ordinary kaleidoscope. It’s a giant cash-flow menagerie with robotaxi unicorns and Optimus, a metallic marionette that dances on the strings of AI. “DCF?” he scoffed. “That’s for counting beans. Tesla’s counting planets.”

Why Should Investors Care?

Gurley’s not just a prophet with a spreadsheet-he’s a magician with a magnifying glass, peering into Tesla’s future and spotting options like confetti in a hurricane. “Uber was a taxi,” he said, “but it became a kingdom. Tesla’s a carmaker now, but it’s plotting to become a universe.” And if you blink, you’ll miss the kingdom’s gates opening.

This is where the stock market gets its knickers in a twist. Tesla’s price-to-sales and price-to-earnings multiples are like a child’s balloon-too big, too floaty, and everyone’s wondering if it’ll pop. But Gurley, the grumpy old owl, insists the market is staring at the wrong end of the telescope. “Tesla’s not a car company,” he said. “It’s a moonshot in a lab coat.”

So what’s the takeaway, you ask? If you’re a cautious investor, you’ll sit on the sidelines like a soggy toad, waiting for the rain to clear. But if you’re a growth investor with a taste for adventure (and a stomach for chaos), now’s the time to grab a handful of Tesla’s golden confetti. After all, as Gurley whispered, “The market’s pricing in the moonshot today. But the moon’s still out there, waiting to be caught.”

Read More

2025-09-23 05:32